Dear Diary
Introduction


“I have often been downcast, but never in despair;
I regard our hiding as a dangerous adventure,
romantic and interesting at the same time.
In my diary I treat all the privations as amusing.
I have made up my mind now to lead a different life from other girls and,
later on, different from ordinary housewives. My start has been so very full of interest,
and that is the sole reason why I have to laugh at the humorous side of the most dangerous moments.”
.

Me


BabyQR
I don't think there's anything wrong with my name.
If you think you know me, read my blog and think again.
I'm imperfect and I'm Lovin' It.
I'm the only witness and the only person who can judge my life.
This is my blog so Click here if you hate it.

Wishes

To have a future
New phone
New laptop~
To be with him
Travel around
To be with him and have a future~

Past

♥ March 2006
♥ April 2006
♥ May 2006
♥ June 2006
♥ July 2006
♥ August 2006
♥ September 2006
♥ October 2006
♥ November 2006
♥ December 2006
♥ January 2007
♥ February 2007
♥ March 2007
♥ April 2007
♥ May 2007
♥ June 2007
♥ July 2007
♥ August 2007
♥ September 2007
♥ October 2007
♥ November 2007
♥ December 2007
♥ January 2008
♥ February 2008
♥ March 2008
♥ April 2008

Credits ©
Designer : Noa_Carmen
Software : Adobe
Basecodes: xXx
Welcome to my world

Please Click here to go to my newest entries.

Sunday, December 30, 2007
haven blogged for lyk 2 wks? who knows.. who's counting anyway.. lolx..

cant wait for 2007 to end and for 2008 to come.. i would say 2007 is a year of changes for me.. a year of revealation.. it's a year filled wif beginnings and endings.. it is also a year where i find things that are most important to me..

i will nv forget the things that have happened this year.. TAS was fun.. really.. heart-warming even.. back to campus.. TCA.. pure hell but fun in a sick way.. messed up project deadlines (which is going to continue in 2008 =x) all the bits and pieces..

sch changed me alot.. i look at myself now and compared it wif me in the past.. i couldnt recognise myself anymore.. is lyk a totally new QR.. different in wat way, i dunno.. but i do noe.. some of the changes, i dun lyk at all.. (lyk becoming fat.. >.<)

xmas dis year was made special by someone.. new year is being made special by that someone too.. i bet he didnt noe dat.. the care, the concern, the laughter and those words.. simply made me look forward to the coming year.. of the various possibilities.. where would we go from here? where do we WANT to go from here?

i've waited for you for close to 1year alr.. (taking away 3mths) i dun feel sad, though at times it gets tough.. i nv thot i can be patient.. you taught me patience.. good things in life come for free.. but you have to WAIT in order to get the good things.. dat's wat i'm doing now.. you're the 1st guy whom my parents think is not bad.. do you noe how much dat meant to me.. precious words that kept me going..

i love you.. and 2008 is going to be no different.. i'll still love you.. let it last.. let it bloom..

Tuesday, December 18, 2007
it's irritating, how i'm trying not to be sick by drinking water daily and yet, i noe i'm going to be sick.. actually, i knew last nite when i started having sore throat.. so i was drinking lots of water before i slept.. but~ woke up, feeling weak and all.. and YES, the first sign of a major fever is here.. urgh~!

how to go for xmas party tml? hais.. if really bad, juz go for dinner and gift xchange den i go hm le.. currently feeling very restless cos no matter how i sit or lie, i feeling very xin ku.. T.T i hate being sick la!

Saturday, December 15, 2007
hmm.. you noe dis angel&mortal thing we're having for the xmas party.. well, i can quite guess who my angel is.. so i'm wondering if there's forfeit if we didnt guess our angel rite.. cos if there's no forfeit, i suppose i would juz any-o-how guess? LOL

am i anticipating the arrival of xmas? no actually.. cos you see.. last yr on xmas eve, i cried.. haha last yr xmas, i'm waiting for the same guy i'm waiting for now.. but dis yr it's different.. dis yr, i will not cry.. dis yr, i will smile.. cos i dun wan to be anyone's burden.. thought things through le.. laugh or cry, time passes.. so why not pass my time laughing? being happy beats being sad.. =)

i'm still looking for a job.. mainly cos i think working can help me take my mind off some stuff.. *lyk how he's not replying my msges* HAHA anyway, shall try my luck at cafe cartel~ yup.. try my luck..

feeling kinda tired.. cos i've been sewing non-stop for the past 2 nites.. not enuf slp.. so having a headache now.. so shall take a rest.. after all, it's half done le.. but i think i will stop n start working on something else.. lolx afterall, i dun think i'll be giving it to him on xmas.. see how things go ba.. i mean, he's ignoring me so why should i give him a xmas gift? humphz =p

my eyes are abt to close so i guess i will stop here? shall update on my progress tml den.. ciao~


=D one side done.. another to go~

Friday, December 14, 2007
=-:-=CARETAKER NEEDED=-:-=
I'm looking for a caretaker for President (my pet hamster). haha i'll be going for OSIP for 5months and am unable to care for him. Can someone please help me take care of him while i'm gone? You'll be paid~ *note: the pay is $100 - $200 for 5 mths. negotiatable*
Requirements:

Job Scope:

Food, bedding, bathing sand and everything else will be provided so dun worry~ =)

Contact me @ sliverstar79@hotmail.com or through MSN if you're interested~




from 3pm till 1am in the morning.. this is wat i've done so far.. i'm tired now.. time to slp.. i'm happy wif my progress.. *note: the one in the middle is wat i've sewn.. the other 2 is the model*

Thursday, December 13, 2007
累了,哭了,闹了,无法再继续了。该说的已说出口,不该说的也说出口了。为何要自讨苦吃?明明知道我是不会再像以前那样对你了,明明知道现在的我是有数不清的缺陷,明明知道所有的所有已和以前不一样了。这样的我有多彷徨,有多犹豫。你知道多少?或许你真的是付出了很多,但我真的无法像之前的我一样,无忧无虑的对待你。我没有办法当作什么都没发生,厚着脸皮的要你对我好。看着你,我的心充满愧疚感。我无法让自己再伤害你。每当伤害了你,我是多么的恨我自己。我讨厌现在的我。我也不知道该如何是好。我只知道你必须把我忘了,不要再对我有任何的感觉。就算只是喜欢,也把它忘了吧。这样的我不值得你留念,也无法接受你的喜欢。

我只想平平淡淡地度过剩下的学期。我不要再去想我和你之间的问题。因为问题太多太多了。就算了吧。就让一切化成无好了。。。

some words are not meant to be said afterall.. dis is one thing i've learnt.. i cant wait to leave

hmm.. let's see.. how did today go? i went from ... to hmm to hee hee to hahaha.. so you get the drift? apparantly not cos i'm not making sense.. LOL

was a little nervous for accounting test so i was pretty quiet.. (riiight) went into the test venue, enjoyed the air con for 45mins and left.. HAHA typical qr~ i would say the paper's pretty easy.. might be able to score a B.. =) yup so i'm kinda happy~

den dat kuku.. she said, "qiu rui qiu rui.. u not the 1st one to leave lehx!! *** left earlier than you!" =.= HAHAHA aiyo... say until lyk is competition see who win lyk dat.. lolx den before going in, i was telling val, "bu jian bu san" LOL and she really met me out dere at ard 45mins too~ =D

went for the job interview at The Soup Spoon at raffles dere.. hmm.. the manager says she'll call me tml.. *crosses fingers* hopes she call ba.. would say the interview went well.. cos i was very relaxed.. HAHA this is by far, the best interview ever~ =) juz hope dat i get the job ba..

ppl think i'm getting a job at dis time cos of OSIP.. is it really? haha it's for me to noe and for you to find out~ =p

on a happier note, i've completed my xmas shopping.. though me and bestie had a laugh over the angel-mortal thing.. HAHA but yea, bought a little sth for my mortal.. and for a couple of impt ppl too.. =) me and ben hor.. HAHA he said he need a cushion.. so i say i buy for him.. den i told him i need a massager.. so he say he buy for me.. LOL end up we decided not to wrap our presents cos we alr noe wat we're getting from each other.. LOL

am i looking forward to xmas? i dunno.. haha i'm still a little confused over wat's e fuss? LOL anyway, these few days are kind of lonely.. ppl who dun understand, juz dun bother kz.. dis is not self pity or watever.. it's juz a statement.. =.= juz saying in case ppl jump to conclusion, which i noe some would.. anyway, kind of bored too.. ended up playing freecell which occupied part of my mind but didnt fully engage.. gotta stop thinking.. cos i tend to think too much den i'll get emo.. HAHA

you ar you.. still dun reply my msg.. *smacks*

Tuesday, December 11, 2007
going for job interview at the Soup Spoon tml~ wondering if i can get the job =)

i'm tired of studying T-T so here i am blogging.. reading my frens' MSN nick and i swear. i'm loving some of them.. here's some dat i love alot~

Even though we appear to be sewn in a different pattern, we have a common thread that won't be broken, by people years or distance (hemma)

tHe pAins Of fRiEndShip hUrT bY fRiEndShip, LoYal wIF pAin, GuiLTy wiF LovE, sAddEnEd bY sHaMe.. (sy)

It's the heart afraid of breaking, that never learns to dance. It's the dream afraid of waking, that never takes the chance.. (hui xin)


Find like-minded people to be with. If you spend your time with negative people, you will become negative yourself. (su qin)

Nothing will change until your thinking change (bernard)

Hurt beyond the point of hurt, love beyond the point of love (yours truly~)

and now i have another:

it is the love afraid of fading, that fails to take the plunge
thks to hui xin for dat idea~ =D

for every beginning, there's always an end.. the only difference is, is it good or bad? if it's good, den lucky you.. but if it's bad, all i can say is too bad, just your luck.. this is life. do i sound lyk i heck care? perhaps.. but this is life..

life is made up of choices.. both good n bad.. i myself made a lot of bad choices in my life but there were good ones too.. it's not wrong to be selfish and sometimes, we really do have to think of ourselves.. it's always abt us, whether is it to our benefit, is it worth our efforts..

when she msged me saying she will wait for him, i cant tell her forget that bastard.. all i could say was, alrite i respect your decision.. who am i to her to help her make her decision? as a fren, all i can do is to support her.. i dunno if it's a good or bad choice and i sincerely hope waiting is a good choice.. but from wat i'm seeing now, wat's the point? when he doesnt care, wat's the point?

i will still worry for her in my own way.. i might not seem lyk i care alot.. i might even be joking.. but who knows wat i'm thinking.. being e person who lives closest to her, i'm worried she might need me any time.. i felt so guilty when i couldnt be wif her dis morning dat i txted her a sorry.. tonight i'm keeping my phone by my side.. in case anything happens, i can be dere.. it's juz my way of caring..

Monday, December 10, 2007
as the saying goes: two's company, three's a crowd.. everyone missed the 2nd part of it.. four's a happy family, five will led to screams and shouts..

looking into my eyes and tell me wat you see.. hurt beyond the point of hurt.. love beyond the point of love..

i dun wan to think.. i dun wan to feel.. all i wan is to get on wif life.. facing all those shit is not wat i wan..

be my source of strength.. give me hope to go on.. even if it means lying to me.. i would still accept.. $100k.. if only it was dat simple..

Friday, December 07, 2007
my bro showed me dis vids.. super funny HAHA need to understand mandarin den you will get the humour.. enjoy~ =D *zh is soooo gonna hate me for laughing at his idol.. HAHA*






oh my.. i swear dis is classical~ HAHA



Thursday, December 06, 2007
在雨中漫步的感觉真的是好舒服,一点烦恼都没有。或许是因为最静的心情忐忑不定吧。所以当雨水轻轻打在脸上时,心里的烦恼也渐渐地减轻了许多。对我而言,受伤了,最好的疗伤方法往往是在雨中慢慢地走着,让雨水把所有的烦恼给打掉。当一个人独自走在街上,难免会觉得孤单。但当一个人在雨中走在街上,孤独的心情不在,反而感觉到有人陪着我,鼓励我坚强的走下去。也许是因为雨水不会像人一样突然消失,而雨水却像一块棉被围绕着我,给予我温暖与保护。这几天下的雨,仿佛是为我而下。而我也渐渐地开朗起来。

Bush says Iran a 'danger' despite intelligence report (extracted from: http://news.sg.msn.com/topstories/article.aspx?cp-documentid=1131004)

President George W. Bush said Tuesday that Iran remains a danger and refused to rule out a military attack, despite a US intelligence report saying Tehran halted its nuclear weapons program in 2003.
"The best diplomacy, effective diplomacy, is one in which all options are on the table," Bush said a day after the new intelligence assessment stoked the controversy over Iran's disputed program.

Input: =.=

Bush was adamant. "Iran was dangerous, Iran is dangerous and Iran will be dangerous if they have the knowledge necessary to make a nuclear weapon," he told a White House press conference.
The president called on US allies to step up pressure on Iran. "The best way to ensure that the world is peaceful in the future is for the international community to continue to work together to say to the Iranians we are going to isolate you."

Input: i suppose there is a better way than isolation.. heard of NEGOTIATION?

International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA) head ElBaradei, whose inspectors have been investigating Iran's nuclear drive for four years, called for immediate negotiations between Iran and its western critics.
"This new assessment by the US should help to defuse the current crisis," he said in a statement. "At the same time, it should prompt Iran to work actively with the IAEA."
But US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice vowed to press ahead with tougher UN sanctions against Iran, saying the United States and the five other powers dealing with Iran must maintain their diplomatic pressure.
"There is time for diplomacy to work, but there isn't time to stop and say 'we don't need the diplomacy,'" Rice said.

Input: in my personal opinion, this is not diplomacy.. this is pressurizing Iran to stop watever they are doing which may lead to adverse consequences. who knows, maybe there's going to be another Iraq saga.. *shrugs*

Clinton's top rival Senator Barack Obama warned that despite the National Intelligence Estimate (NIE) on Iran released Monday, the Bush administration would not modify its tough line on Iran.
"It is absolutely clear that this administration and President Bush continues to not let facts get in the way of his ideology."
"Let's get this straight, in 2003 (Iran) stopped their program, you cannot trust this president, he is not trustworthy," said Senator Joseph Biden.
"It is outrageous, intolerable and it must stop ... the president of the United States -- it's like watching a rerun of his statements on Iraq five years earlier."

Input: only one word to describe. STUBBORN

*note that the inputs here are ENTIRELY the PERSONAL opinions of the author's and should NOT be taken seriously. the author would NOT be held liable for any displeasure caused.*

quotes of the day:

"pls tell me why i'm in the middle of this..."
"oh my god.. he's giggling!"
"i feel lyk a stalker.. cos i keep staring at him!"
"eh, which part of toilet are you in?"
"it is beta to have a choice than to be lyk me.. cannot choose liao"
"i think our lives are pre-destined and things happen for a reason."
"how i'm treating XXX now is how YYY is treating me.. it's all a vicious cycle."
"i rather you choose carefully than to rush into a decision."
"i think someone up dere put XXX in my life on purpose.. to give you guys a good fren and for me to find out wat's the most important thing in my life."
"even though i might lose alot of things but i nv regret.. at least i finally know wat i really wan."

i love you not only because of who you are.. but also because of who i am when i'm with you.. when i'm with you, i feel so much better.. so much more optimistic.. i hope i have the same effect on you too.. =)

Monday, December 03, 2007
happy vs sad
cheerful vs depressed
optimistic vs pessimistic
hope vs despair
love vs hate
laughter vs tears
holding on vs letting go
staying vs leaving
warmth vs coldness

this is you and me.. the choices we have to make.. i dunno wat's our future.. i dunno abt the obstacles.. i dunno abt alot of stuff.. esp wat is happening in your life.. all i noe is i wanna be wif you and face all the obstacles together wif you..

i noe you are troubled.. i noe you wld rather we carry on the facade of being only frenz.. i noe you wld rather not think abt our feelings for each other.. i noe.. and i also noe.. i will always put on a cheerful front for you.. even when i am crying, i would smile.. juz for you..

i hide all the hurt in my heart.. i learnt to smile in the face of adversity.. i learnt to be optimistic even when things seemed impossible.. all i do, is juz for an acknowledgement from you dat i still exist in some part of your heart.. and dat you noe, you hold a special place in mine..

Sunday, December 02, 2007



this post is dedicated to those who are waiting for love. to those who have been hurt by love. to those who are troubled by love. and to those who holds on tightly to that little spark dat we call hope..

i used to wonder.. why are women so stupid.. to keep hoping and waiting.. now dat i'm in this position myself, i finally noe the ans.. whenever it comes to love, we juz cant help wat we do.. we juz keep loving and loving.. waiting and waiting.. hoping and hoping.. even when all we get disappointment, we juz kept believing, kept loving.. i would describe women as resilient ba.. haha cos i oso a woman.. =x kidding~

hmm.. when i look ard me, all i see is my darlings being troubled by love.. bestie, flower and most of all, fion.. i feel shallow for always saying jia you.. who am i to talk when my own love life is lyk... all i can say is stay strong and stand by wat you've chosen.. in a r/s, there's always give and take.. nth is smooth-sailing de.. all we have to do is to grit our teeth and get over it..

waiting is often lonely and filled wif moments of weaknesses.. staying strong is wat we have to do but i've got to admit.. it really is tough at times.. esp when we need someone.. i dreamt of him.. of sleeping in his arms.. dat feeling.. 是幸福的.. but a dream, will always be a dream ba... and sometimes, dreams can turn into nightmares.. lyk mine.. cos suddenly i dreamt of mr goh staring at me.. it's lyk SSM all over again.. >.<

funny how guys always lyk to pretend nth has happened after rejecting a girl.. it's lyk.. hey, you told the girl you juz wan to remain frenz, den you go all buddy-buddy wif her.. do you even care how confused dat girl feels? oh well, i'm rambling away over nth actually.. sigh.. all i can tell the girl is dat.. if dat's how it is, juz have to cope wif it lorx.. i mean.. GUYS.. urgh..

i noe how ppl think i should not be the one being troubled over love seeing how i've hurt sl.. YES.. i've hurt sl.. but i am troubled ok.. it's becos i'm showing respect to sl dat's why i nv really say anything much abt sy on my blog.. do ppl noe wat i think when i go to marina square? do ppl noe wat i think when i go plaza sing? do ppl noe wat i feel when i walk down orchard road alone?

i may have lost him now.. but at least no one can take away the memories.. i kept reminiscing the past.. of the 2 of us, walking down the streets.. just you and me.. hand in hand.. i'm waiting for him.. from now till ever..

最爱还是你

没开口的话怎样才能懂
我好想把画面倒带回头
你留在我心中熟悉的表情
每个温暖纯白的记忆穿越了距离

拥挤的人潮没有人知道
我偷偷想你嘴角就会笑
不要说对不起
也不要问原因
就让世界不停的向前别忘记从前

最爱还是你这是我的决定
像宇宙相对的星互相吸引
慢慢就会靠近

还是要爱你时间会证明
我爱你的勇气
牵着你的手才知道是永久

拥挤的人潮没有人知道
我偷偷想你嘴角就会笑
不要说对不起
不要再问原因
就让世界不停的向前别忘记从前

最爱还是你这是我的决定
像宇宙相对的星互相吸引
慢慢就会靠近
还是要爱你时间会证明
我爱你的勇气
牵着你的手才知道是永久

这一次我放弃了所有
只为能再与你相遇

最爱还是你这是我的决定
像宇宙相对的星互相吸引
慢慢就会忘记
还是要爱你时间会证明
我爱你的勇气
牵着你的手才知道是永久
一辈子不放手