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hmm... today is super lame.. to me dat is.. haha.. anyways.. chat wif bc dis afternoon.. he asked me abt sentosa.. i'll tok abt it later.. haha.. back to bc.. yea.. he asked me abt sentosa.. so i told him dat i got sun burnt.. and he was lyk "roast pig ar!!" haha.. yup.. dat's precisely wat he said.. >.< den he said, " i want a piece of you..."

-__________- dat seriously doesn't sound rite.. i told him so.. and he laughed and said nvm.. haha.. riiiiiight...

so wat am i doing in sentosa? well.. i went dere for some sort of a project.. got to write a report.. (sianz) hmm.. i went wif my classmates.. haha.. i wanted to do on accommodation de.. but no one do wif me.. so i did f&b and attraction.. not bad la.. attraction i did animal and birds ancounter.. haha.. i found out dat ivan's afraid of lizards.. or sth of dat kind.. hahaa... unbelievable... *shakes head*

den we met wif hua and val dey all at sake sushi.. dey did f&b on dat i think.. den we headed to e beach.. haha.. carol headed straight to the waters.. haha.. ivan went along... den dey tried to throw me and hua into e sea.. keyword is tried... haha.. i went in willingly.. but hua screamed.. i mean seriously screamed.. dat was e 1st time i heard her scream.. man.. she can scream lyk a girl.. i'm not kidding.. even beta than me.. haha.. kidding.. no offense dere..

den e class gather at e beach.. and we had fun.. den me, fion, ivan, carol and fion's bf went to Bikini bar to do our f&b.. haha.. i ordered a cocktail.. keke.. dey nv check my ic... so it can b considered dat e service is not reliable? haha.. so i had my drink.. and we did our "work".. =.=

den we went back to e beach.. most of dem wan to go to play the ludge.. i didn't go wif dem.. so me, val, bin, joseph and kev stayed back to "look after" the stuff.. haha.. we actually wanted to play ball de.. den bin became the champion of e day.. he kicked e ball up e coconut tree..

-________-

and so, we spent e nxt hr or so trying to get e ball off dat tree.. nice one.. e lifeguard came to help, cant do a thing.. we did shake e tree.. i have a nasty suspicion dat e tree would fall.. but let's not think along dat line.. haha.. wen e rest came back, we're still trying to get e freaking ball down e tree.. dat ball is very advantureous.. =.= haha.. end up everyone helping out to get e ball down.. and i found out dat smith could climb a tree.. and joseph has strong arms.. haha.. den e sentosa staff came and helped us.. dey actually got e structure of another coconut tree to make a long pole.. den wif dat long pole, e guys knocked e ball down.. while e girls cheered dem on.. haha.. nice way to spend time...

-_________-

so in other words, we got e freaking ball down.. and we finally get to play ball.. oh.. and most of e girls got sun burnt.. ouch...

speaking of sun burnt.. i'm seriously burnt.. it hurts... T-T and now, i'm peeling.. eeks!!! it's lyk.. huge pieces of skin are coming off my back.. it is not painful.. but it feels weird.. my bro told me dat my back looks lyk a jackfruit..

-_______- riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight......

so sry to bc dat dere's not going to b roast pig.. haha.. dere's only a skinless pig.. keke.. oh well.. it's quite late le.. think i go slp le...

missing my dear.. >.<

i'm feeling really lousy... playing maple, hlping sq to train his warrior.. den i go see his guild.. so full of life, so successful.. den i went back to my own char.. and i looked at my guild.. such a failure.. i started hearing a voice at e back of my head.. mocking me.. telling me dat i wld nv succeed in anything i do.. e more i looked at my guild.. e lousier i felt and e angrier i am at myself.. i started asking myself y i think dat i could do things rite.. after all, i'm born a failure.. e only gd things in my life are my family, frenz and sy.. other than dat, everything abt me sux.. i couldn't take it anymore.. i decided to disband my guild.. but b4 dat, i knew i had to ask for db's opinion.. (say i no backbone, i dun care.. dis guild is partly db's too) so i talked to her abt it.. and she said anything.. dat e decision is up to me.. den i asked gray if dere's any vacancy in his guild.. so i could secure a place for my active guild members which is a pitible sum of 3, excluding myself..such a mockery.. mind you.. in my guild, dere's 17 ppl.. but dere's only 3, excluding myself, who were active.. isn't dis guild such a hoax.. can u even imagine how miserable i felt.. wen i realize dat.. here i am telling myself, "nxt time, juz b e minion.. dun b e leader.. u'll ruin everything.." i guess i'll keep repeating dat to myself.. mayb it might get into my thick fat head..

but gray cant confirm if he can recruit my ppl.. he need to ask sy and zh.. i'm alrite wif it.. it's not as if i'm desperate or anything.. i already left my guild.. not becos i so wan to join gray's guild.. but i simply cant stay in my sorry state of a guild.. juz makes me feel very lousy abt myself.. all i can say is i've really done my best.. i've put in time, effort and money.. everything i have.. mayb my best is not enuf... but i've really tried.. juz dat i'm gd enuf.. so PureInGlory is finally going to b put to rest.. dere's nth pure in the glory.. i made it unpure.. by not being able to keep it alive.. and i really hate myself for dat...

i juz cat hlp it.. dis weighty feeling in my heart.. haiz.. think i'll go slp le.. i wish i wun dream...

memories.. wld dey ever fade? will we ever forget? or do we juz keep those memories into some safe in our mind, or in my case, heart? not seeing.. does it mean certain things wldn't exist? y is it dat wen ppl try to forget, dey tend to avoid? haha.. dun understand wat i'm toking abt? dun wry.. me too.. i'm juz typing down wat is currently running thru my mind.. sometimes i really do wonder.. have i ever forgotten.. some part of me might say yes, some part of me might say no.. i mean.. i forget stuff lyk hw and project deadlines.. but i really cant seem to forget memories.. wat are memories? i dun really noe.. sometimes i always mistake dat by avoiding, i wld b able to forget.. i guess dat's wrong.. cos i cant seem to forget.. den someone told me.. "e more u try to forget, e more u'll rmb.. e more u try to rmb, e more u'll forget..." i here i am... thinking how true those words are... memories... guess i'll nv be able to control wen dey come and go... but somehow, i really wish i could....


missing my dear so so much!!!! hasn't been seeing him dese few days cos of sch... dat really sux... but nvm... i'm seeing him tml.. =D now dat got me happy.. haha.. gotta go do project le... ciao...

having a terrible headache now.. i came to sch early today, hoping to do my project.. haha.. but i found out dat my classmate has not sent me e ppt yet.. so here i am, in sch too early and crapping online.. hyuk hyuk.. a little bored though.. waiting for bc to come so can eat lunch... 2pm den go lesson... sian sia... i'm a little hungry.. >.< nv eat breakfast again...

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( -.- )
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zzz... so sleepy... last nite 1am slp... dis morning 7am wake up... diao... 6 hrs of slp nia... haha.. not enuff slp le... sian.. feel lyk slping... crap crap crap... omg... 1 more hr till bc comes... i muz ren!!!! stay awake!!!!!

-________-

i'm back to being lame again.. haha... looks lyk my blog only i come.. haha.. so i can crap all i wan.. keke.. nobody read my blog le... hyuk hyuk.. dat's gd... i can crap and crap and crap lyk nobody's business and no one will say me... mwahhahahaha.. *evil laugh*

-____- dis is how far sleepiness can drive a person.. kaox... being super lame le.. sian ar... but den again, cant blame me.. i really bored u noe.. haiz.. super sian.. and super cold now.. aiya.. sian liao...

bye

-_______________________-

haha.. after one nite's slp, i'm alive again!!!!!! =.= diao... anyways, unhappy, already unhappy guo le.. lame, already lame guo le... now muz FOCUS and prepare to go to sch le!!!!! hmm... let's see... i'm thinking... shld i call sy by his name, or sth else? suggestions anyone? >.<

i'm seriously being lame here!!!!! haha

mayb wat bc say is rite ba.. cos i hurt sq b4 dat's y he finds it weird dat i tok to him... i may b joking to bc now abt a single hello frm me wld kill someone.. but... if my simple hello wld really kill a person, i guess i wun tok anymore.. so here i go.. hello qr... hello kelly... hello darkwings...

see... i've killed all of me... i wun hurt anyone le...

rite now, i'm supposed to write out my script for my speech on wed.. but i'm having a splitting headache so i cant really think.. haiz.. it's rather hard, u noe.. how to make my speech on tarot cards interesting? i mean, not many noe wat tarot cards are.. and it's lyk... i'm trying to write my speech such dat i can give ppl maximum info in 5mins.. but dere's so much to tarot.. i'm so gonna have a hard time... >.<

actually i'm not feeling very well.. cos i dun have enuff slp.. so i'm feeling quite weak now.. and i stioll have to think up of a bloody script.. i've got e intro done le.. wat's left is e points n conclusion.. conclusion's done.. points are e hard part.. how to connect?? sianx.... i'm not going crazy yet.. not yet la.. tired, yes.. stress, no.. jiu ming ar....

waiting for my bao bei online.. but i dun think he'll online liao.. i think he oso quite tired.. sian ar.... haiz.. back to my script...

*mutters* *mutters* *mutters* *mutters* *mutters* *mutters* *mutters* *mutters* *mutters* *mutters* *mutters* *mutters* *mutters* *mutters* *mutters* *mutters*

-_______________- ok i'm crazy...

haha.. feeling very bored now so i trying to b lame here... =p anyways, nth much happen.. ok.. mayb i broke down and cried on mon but other than dat, nth else... i guess.. haha.. if u're thinking y did i cry on mon, i dunno.. u noe dat feeling of sadness dat weighs heavily on a person's heart? well, dat was how i felt.. dis great burden of sadness in my heart.. it's so.. heavy.. makes me so depressed.. and b4 i noe it, tears are juz flowing freely.. den i called db.. wen she picked up e phone, i started crying all over again.. =.= i sound lyk a crybaby... den as i was crying, db was asking me if sy bullied me.. i tried to say no but i couldn't.. i was crying too hard.. *=.= is dere such a description? crying too hard..* anyways.. wen i finally stopped, i told her it's not sy.. sy wouldn't make me cry.. he'll try to make me smile... well, to put it simply, i talked to db abt my problems... yea.. dat shld b all...

wah... super boring.... in sch now.. doing nth... other than typing la.. i'm in sch early.. waiting for tutor and classmates... i'm e only one in class now.. sianx... is dere such a term called bored until wan to puke? i guess not... and no, i dun wan to puke.. i'm juz curious... hmm.. i juz thot of sth... let me tok of sth lame... mayb dat way, i wouldn't b so bored...

****** darkwings's lame thots******
stress.. wat does it mean? well, dere's quite a few explanation on dictionary.com but i lyk dis e best... stress is a mentally or emotionally disruptive or upsetting condition occurring in response to adverse external influences and capable of affecting physical health, usually characterized by increased heart rate, a rise in blood pressure, muscular tension, irritability, and depression. confused? so m i.. haha.. i nv read.. i juz copied and paste.. hmm.. mainly it's bad.. so how do we counter strss? i juz found out dat crying is a BERY gd method.. erm.. how do i explain dis.. well.. wen u r feeling very stressed, dere dis haavy feeling on ur heart.. i noe cos i've experienced it.. i was very stressed.. hmm... den i started crying.. after i cried, i was very tired but at e same time, dere's a very light feeling in my heart.. it's as if i've let everything out.. it's a rather gd feeling.. juz dat u'll get a headache from all dat crying.. =.=

hmm.. i forgot wat i wanted to say.. =.= aiya.. forget it... lesson start le.. i go toilet.. haha