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e words "wat if" kept revolving in my head.. i cant hlp thinking.. wat if i chose another sec sch.. wat wld my life b now? wld i b continuing my basketball? or wld i b lyk now, aimlessly wandering.. at wat cost did i chose dis life now? n i thot wat if, i chose to go jc instead of poly, wat wld i b doing now? all e ppl dat i've known, all dat i've met.. wld all dat change if i made a different choice in e past? or wld i still meet all of dem but only in a different time and setting?


i dunno y i'm starting to think of all dis.. mayb cos i have too much free time ba.. however, it's in my nature to b curious abt my "opportunity cost".. lolx.. dat's econs.. but yea.. wat am i forgoing to have a life such as wat if having now? am i making e rite choices or have i made mistakes.. and if i made mistakes, wat were dey? i'm constantly questioning myself, constantly doubting my own decisions.. i might seem hesitant to others but deep down inside, i'm juz afraid of making a wrong choice..


i noe ppl will tell me to take a chance.. risk it.. beta to risk it than to not do anything.. but i'm dat kind of person.. i hate e feeling of losing.. i cant bear e thot of losing.. dat's y i wld rather not do anything.. i'm also afriad of disapproval.. i might b 18, close to being an adult.. but even now, i cant do watever i lyk.. no matter wat i did, wat i choose, it's always under e influence of someone..


e person who influences me e most wld b my mom.. mayb it's cos i'm afraid of disappointing her.. somehow, my mom made me feel dat i wld nv do anything rite.. dat's y whenever she called me stupid, it really cuts deep in my heart.. i dunno y but now i'm wondering.. if i got into a JC, wld she still think dat i'm stupid? when i told her wat uni i wanted to go to, she say wait till i graduate from poly.. i noe she meant taking one step at a time, but i cant hlp thinking is it cos she thinks i'm too dumb..


all dis uncertainty is eating up at me.. i cant possibly voice it out to my mom.. not to any of my family members.. mayb dey'll think i'm more stupid than b4.. mayb cos of my stupidity, every decision i made is always wif e approval of my family.. n now i'm wondering, wat am i giving up by submitting to my family?


some might say freedom.. but i've got more freedom than b4.. i guess wat i'm giving up is independence ba.. looking at all my frenz, each and every one of dem works for their own pocket money.. only me is still asking my parents for money.. but whenever i expressed e desire to work, my mom wld say i dun wan to hlp my dad.. it juz simply made me guilty, feeling dat i'm letting dem down as their daughter..


i've been wondering for yrs now.. i've been wondering if i'm my parents' flesh and blood.. sometimes it feels lyk i am, sometimes i'm not.. wat if i'm not? wat wld i do den? i'll nv noe.. seng yi told me it has been scientifically proven that left handers are smarter but die younger.. i'm a left hander.. so if i really died young, wat wld my parents' reactions be? i've entertained thots of hurting myself to see wat my parents' reaction wld b.. but i think it wld juz give dem more reason to think dat i'm stupid..


wat is dis life dat i have chosen? y do i feel so lost? y m i not happy? y, after all dis yrs, do i still feel e need to hide myself away from my family? y have i lost my desire to live? i juz wan to simply let go and not care.. and i'm thinking, y is dat so...

ytd, some of e gs 2001 ppl gathered.. dere's me, mel, mindy, ken and seng yi.. stephen was sick so nv meet with us... met up at 6.. haha.. cos of my work.. end up nv go steamboat.. we went movies instead.. haha.. watched Pathfinder.. a so-so kind of movie.. sth lyk 300 dat kind but 300's definitely beta.. hahaha


den we went to yoshinoya for dinner.. dey keep teasing me la.. cos i'm e shortest.. in pri sch, i'm e tallest among all e gs ppl.. but i stopped growing.. >.< so now, all of dem taller than me.. esp dat seng yi.. when i saw him, i was lyk WTF.. he's more than 1 head taller than me la!!!! so dey say i small kid.. so muz eat kids meal.. =.= WTH..


went pool after dinner.. hahaha.. all of us, except ken, sucked.. lolx.. but funniest wld be me and seng yi ba.. we seemed to b playing who can shoot in e most WHITE ball... =.= it was damn funny lorx.. but i won lyk 2 matches.. hahhaha.. cos mel and ken shoot black ball into wrong hole!! lolx!! i'm lyk so tyco de win la.. haha


only reached hm at 12midnite lorx.. took cab some more.. lolx.. e day was fun.. haha.. filled wif laughter and memories.. keke.. muz have more gatherings.. haha.. den muz b at nite de.. cos nite time more hyper.. keke..


today nth to update.. normal work, slp and read comic.. lolx.. i did my mentoring stuff le.. so gtg now.. need to type and send to idah liao... ciao~

i'm so into paper shredding that i aspired to be a paper shredder once..







updates tml..






if i were to die tml, who will come send me off?? hmm..

dere was once a evil boy (my bro) who loves to torture soft toys.. dis is wat he does to dem..


before:



and after:



as his sis, i could nv do anything abt it and thus was resigned to his "evil" ways even though i ADORE soft toys..

however, one day, i thot of an excellent idea to stop my bro's "evil" ways once and for all..

recalling his fears of the japanese ghost, Sadako, i decided to scare him away from e soft toys..

he was frightened and ran far far away.. and from den on, all e soft toys were free from his "evil" ways.. and here is e heroine who saved all e toys..

chalet was on thurs.. worked in e morning den was planning to take an afternoon nap.. but best fren walking over to my workplace le.. lolx.. so no more naps.. so i'm quite tired de.. cos previous nite i chiong maple until 12 plus.. not enuf slp.. =x


reached pasir ris at 4plus.. met ivan, linus, bin, kev, val and carol at e mrt station.. went off to buy drinks(girls), charcoal and ice(guys) for e bbq.. but end up it was raining heavily so we didnt bbq.. bought instant noodles n cooked for everyone.. e bbq food oso cook lorx.. not bad la.. hahaha.. cai de and carol gd cook.. me is juz hlp ard de..


den carol wan to wash floor ma.. so she pour water all over e floor and put soap.. lolx.. and i started sliding ard e kitchen.. hahahaha.. so long nv play le.. so while cai de and carol were cleaning e floor, i was spreading e soap by sliding ard.. haha


throughout e chalet.. we juz played lorx.. and celebrated kuku's bday.. rented bikes, played mahjong, cards, twister and ps2.. quite a lot of activities la.. den oso got water bombs.. while e rest were playing water bombs, i was cutting watermelon.. lolx.. we bought watermelon to eat.. sweet sweet de.. keke.. actually it was e 2nd watermelon we bought.. kuku bought e 1st watermelon which wasnt ripe.. =.= lolx.. later we found out it's cos she doesnt noe how to choose.. lolx!


at 3am, some of us went to slp.. cos tired ma.. me and manu slept on e same bed.. e 2 of us were e most tired le.. cos we worked in e morning.. hhahaha.. so slp lorx.. i moved quite a lot.. and even though manu said she made a lot of noise, i didnt hear anything.. =.= ok.. both of us seemed to b in too deep of a slp to noe wat e other is doing.. hahahaha..


den on fri, checked out and we went our separate ways.. keke.. me, carol, hua hua, val and manu went to mac for breakfast.. den val went hm, manu followed me hm and carol went hua hua hse.. rest, bathe and met at 4 at tam mrt station.. i had a bad bout of hiccups on fri ok.. everytime i ate sth or drank sth, i would have hiccups.. zzz.. very xin ku lorx..


watched Stomp the Yard at the cathay(sp?).. gd movie.. i love e dance~!!! keke.. carol said ivan was slping.. =.= after dat went to Ajisan for dinner and i went hm.. played maple for a while and i slept.. cos too shagged le...


ytd's mentoring was fun.. ok.. i went a little too far.. haha.. played too much dat lost control of e kids.. oh well.. guess i gotta reflect on myself.. lolx.. museum was ok la.. not as boring as i thot it would be.. lolx.. juz a little confusing cos i dunno my way ard..


i guess dere's nth much left to update le ba.. keke.. bye

oki.. came back from chalet.. super shagged.. will update details of e chalet on a later date.. lolx.. oh well.. i suppose i shall go slp now.. gd nitex






in dis world, dere's no such thing as pure.. dere's always a mixture..

i'm such a klutz ok.. in 2 days, i managed to injure myself twice.. =.= ytd, i knocked my head against e edge of e wall and today, i fell down e stairs.. i muz b super clumsy...


when i fell, i kinda gave my dad's customers a shock.. lolx.. cos one of dem ran to me and hlped me rub my back cos i landed on it.. zzz.. it hurt lyk hell.. and it's on e lower back which was rather weak.. sigh.. so now, my back has a huge bruise and i can exert too much force.. and to think my dad laughed.. =.= but i noe he's worried.. haha.. if i said i sprained my back, he would bring me to e doc immediately.. i guess i kinda gave everyone a scare.. keke.. cos it was a loud crash.. lolx.. clumsy me..


met best fren in e afternoon to do some shopping.. keke.. had a lot of fun.. =D very long nv go out liao.. looking forward to thurs de chalet wif e kukus!! celebrating kuku's bday.. whee!! i love bdaes!! haha


ivan's bday, according to best fren, is oso chalet.. on e 21st to 22nd april.. lolx.. not very sure la.. confirm later de..


i guess i've been MIA for quite some time.. lolx.. holing myself in maple.. =p but den again, i'm going back to my old habit of living in my own world.. sucha boring life.. lolx.. all i did was sit and stare.. kekeke.. starting to not wan to tok and rather sit alone to think.. wth is wrong wif me sia..


guess dat's all for today.. ciao~





finally got rid of e vermins in my blog.. took quite a lot of pest control but finally accomplished it.. but it seemed dat e vermins went to pester best fren.. should bring some pest control to her too~~

if anyone were to ask me if i was happy, my ans would b yes.. reason being dat i've realised many things in life might go badly but wif e presence of frenz, everything would b ok.. look at my tagboard.. i'm e one being slammed here but my frenz made it all beta for me.. dey defended me.. dey showed their support for me.. and dat made things rite for me..


i dunno abt everyone but i noe some of us were entertained by this person's comments.. mainly because his comments were rather interesting.. i'm surprised he could say so much abt me when he didnt noe me at all.. all he did was tickle my funny bones wif his pathetic attempts to insult me.. oh well..


i've got to thank dis person too cos other than entertaining me, he hlped me and my frenz to b even closer than b4.. he muz have been really pitiful to not noe how nice it is to have frenz.... i guess i have a lot of cause to b happy.. hahaha.. even my bro found all dis amusing.. lolx.. imagine dat.. my bro actually reading my blog.. or rather, my tagboard.. lolx!!


thks to all my frenz out dere.. love u all!! lolx.. to e kukus, MJ MJ MJ!!!! to e piggies, MJ MJ MJ!!! lolx.. mayb even movies and kbox!!! yea yea.. we'll plan again.. lolx.. i go chiong maple le.. ciao!!

those who've seen my tagboard would notice sth.. hahaha.. i have a lot of ppl who despised me.. wootx!! i supposed it's kind of an accomplishment?? hahahaha.. dere're good and bad things in life.. so wat if some ppl hate me?? i still have ppl lyk manu, ben and so on.. so wat if i'm ugly?? my looks may b ugly but at least i'm not ugly on e inside...


to zac, i cant believe u're so childish as to bring my mom into dis arguement.. lolx.. how old are u? 3?? it shows dat u're definitely very childish to insult others' mom.. if u think dat by saying i'm ugly would make me unhappy, think again.. i'm not a superficial person..


dere's a bunch of ppl who think dat by saying i'm ugly, i'll b upset... and ppl oso say dat i have "atrocious english".. hey, my style of writing is atrocious but so wat?? dat's who i am.. i'm an atrocious person.. here's e meaning in case some ppl dun noe it:


atrocious: shockingly bad or tasteless; dreadful; abominal


i'm a dreadful person n i noe dat.. it's even a wonder i have so many gd frenz.. dat's y i'm blessed.. and i dun care for a couple of chidlish ppl who take into their own hands to try to insult me or my frenz.. it's shows dat dey have no life and take great pleasure in ruining others.. therefore, their opinions mean NTH to me.. go take some lessons on manners.. for u ppl have none..

hmm.. went kbox for guild outing on thurs.. haha.. was super fun.. dere's lyk 8 of us.. and we sang from 3 all e way to 8 30.. actually supposed to sing till 9 de.. but e stupid kbox ppl chased us out.. =.= so db gan e manager and counter ppl.. lolx!! but seriously la.. we booked e room until 9.. so how can dey chase us out at 8 20 sia.. system's cocked up lorx.. anyways.. here are some pics taken on dat day.. well.. it's only me and db.. LOLX


me and my mei, db.. cute aint she.. lolx..
me and db again..
here's me acting cute as wen sings.. haha..
and here's me again.. check out my nerdy new specs!!! hyuk hyuk.. i'm aspiring to be a nerd man.. hahahaha..



ytd watched movie wif kai, zh and zx.. hehe.. watched 300.. it's an M18 show so e guys had to sneak me in.. but the movie's damn good la!!!! it totally rocks!! it's e 1st time i was so engrossed watching a movie and i'm practically cheering e spartans on.. hahaha.. and e spartan warriors' bodies were HOT HOT HOT!!! i wonder how dey find so many guys wif DAT build.. it's lyk, WOO HOO.. lolx..


i didnt care abt e "horny" scene.. haha.. i care more abt e fighting scene.. cos it's damn good la.. i lyk dis kind of movie e best.. i've watched Troy, Alexander but dey were not as good as 300.. yea.. i watch dis kind of movie.. but it's a pity dis type of film doesnt come in abundance.. hahah.. otherwise, u'll see me e cinema everytime dis kind of movie comes out..


if u're wondering y 300's a good movie, go watch it.. hahahaha.. personally, i feel dat it really has a good story plot and it's touching(to me).. during e fight, the spartans were very organised thus dey didnt lose much of their men.. it's very unified and all.. i belive e s'pore army can take some lessons from dem.. lolx!! i love e fighting.. all e blood and cries.. oh boy.. it's a so cool.. den e talks of honor, pride.. e passion, e spirit, e desire.. it's very meaningful.. i loved e scene where dey could joke abt fighting in e dark while dey were being attacked by e persians.. haha.. dis movie is injected wif humor too.. kekeke..


i think dis movie is worth my money lorx.. zx watched it e 2nd time.. hahaha.. so i paid for him seeing dat he's already watched it.. not dat i care abt e money.. i've nv felt happier watching a movie.. when e king died, i was sad.. but e last scene was super cool.. hahah.. watch e movie and u'll understand..


"remember us.." quoted from e movie.. rmb e 300 spartans who fought for freedom..

dumb me cant think of a title for dis post.. >.< anyways, heard dat e kukus today going ivan hse for mj... hahaha.. gd luck to those who playing!! i didnt go cos of guild outing which i'm looking forward to!! heehee.. KBOX KBOX!!!


he sent me an email and told me to let go cos it's very selfish of him to expect me to keep hanging on.. haha.. actually, both of us prefer e way things are now.. so yea.. both of us grow up le.. or rather, i grow up le.. started to noe how to think for myself.. noe wat i wan and all.. it's really time to let go lorx.. haha.. juz becos cannot b lovers doesnt mean we cannot b frenz wat..


hope he'll find someone who will treasure him more than i do.. lolx.. he will find someone beta de.. so will i ba.. but i think no one treats me beta le.. haha.. oh well.. guess it's time to move on....


work is rather slack.. woot woot.. hahaha.. ytd got my results le!!! YEAH!!! all passed.. lolx.. juz sad cos i couldnt get a Z for socio.. sigh.. oh well, i did my best.. hahaha.. i've got 3 b+ so it's beta than wat i did in sem 1.. sem 2's results are a lot more beta... muz b cos i studied.. THKS E KUKUS WHO FORCED ME TO STUDY!!!! muackz!!


i wonder if ratz eat candy.. mayb i put rat poison in the candy.. might kill e ratz and teach dem not to touch my food.. lolx..


maple lv up again le.. 51 liao.. still chionging sia.. haha.. i wanna get to 70 cos of all e support.. lolx.. plus, i wan to b a super page!! glax got power weapon for me le!! woot woot!!


i wanna sing~~~ i'm writing a story which i stopped at e prologue... =.= i'm slow but mainly no inspiration.. lolx.. and i've got a new song but i only have e tune and title.. haven start on e lyrics yet.. muahahaha... i'm so slow sia...


been feeling lazy lately.. think i'm going to lyk interact lesser le.. lolx.. i've been toking less le.. as in, not opening my mouth.. typing and sms alot but dun open my mouth to tok.. sing have but no tok.. haha.. i dun even noe why.. i need a toking buddy!!!


i'm gonna bathe later.. i stink.. lolx... my posting is so random.. juz lyk e title.. but den again, i'm a random person.. oh well...

hmm.. sth interesting happened today.. me and my bro were watching tv at my dad's office.. den my bro found e can of snacks behind the photocopier.. guess wat.. we realized dat the ratz have got to my food!!!! e funny part was, we didnt see any ratz but me and my bro jumped onto chairs and started screaming (me) and shouting (bro).. lolx.. now think of it, it was super funny la..


me and bro took quite some time to quiet down.. we were kinda scared to get near the snack cos we were afraid dat the ratz would run out and, believe me, we actually think ratz would attack.. =.= thot abt timid...


after a while, my bro took the can out from behind e photocopier.. stupid ratz bit a hole through the can and ate my snack!! T-T i got my bro to throw the can away and to bring the vacuum up.. while he did dat, i was on top of the chair.. yea.. still on the chair.. i vacuumed e office and freaked out when a plastic bag got sucked.. i thot it was a rat.. =.= sue me but i cant hlp it if i'm a coward..


not only me, my bro's scared too.. haha.. he was standing in front of the tv blocking my view.. so i said dere's a rat behind him and he jumped onto a chair.. lolx!! anyways, dat was e drama in the morning.. me and my bro got paranoid after dat.. we actually thot the ratz would be hiding in the REFRIGERATOR.. yup.. we're DAT paranoid.. lolx..


saw my dad's fren while we're on our way out to lunch.. he took a look at me and bro and exclaimed to me, "how come u so short!?" DANG.. wth la.. i noe i'm short but dun need to b so surprised ba.. hahahhahaha.. cant stand it man.. 1st ratz, now dis..


took pics again cos i'm bored.. not pretty pics.. here's some ugly me!!! enjoy!!!!

urgh.. i'm sick.. crapz...








i'm a freaking idiot.. lolx.. i really am..

hmm.. woke up early in e morning today cos kai need to reach sch by 7 45 for mentoring.. dumb me of cos followed.. lolx.. damn shagged la.. reach dere le.. see all of e comm ppl prepare... dumb me feels extra cos i'm not hlping.. lolx.. den while i was sitting outside e LT, e president came out and said, "where is sk's fren?" haha.. he's referring to me..


finally made myself useful by being e DJ for e workshop.. i juz play ard wif e music and lights.. kekeke.. at least i'm hlping out.. the workshop was rather useful.. hey.. watever e guy said, i did try to apply today during mentoring ok.. lolx..


afternoon rushed to TCCC for mentoring.. all e mentors were kinda late.. hahaha.. me in charge of manuel today.. it's kind of a pity how he gave up dat easily.. he's chinese is weak but giving up is worse ba.. i talked to him for quite a long time and forced him to speak in chinese.. i kinda felt bad abt it but seeing dat he wants a pass, i have to do it ba..


idah passed me jessica's maths paper to look.. and i sort of gave some suggestions on how to hlp her.. so idah told me to try take manuel and jessica nxt wk.. in her words, "i wan to see how patient kelly is wif jessica".. lolx! i'll try my best la..


mentoring was fun and filled wif laughter today.. hahah.. mainly we were discussing abt outing so we're kinda excited ba.. den after mentoring, i had to rush off for SA.. SA chalet is held at tanag merah dere.. lolx.. manu told me dere's mahjong and karaoke.. wootx.. of cos i rushed over..


while at e tampines mrt station, i saw zx and sy wif their frenz.. omg la.. it's sucha coincidence.. i'm lyk surprised to see him dere but at e same time, very happy.. lolx.. i talked to zx la but didnt tok to sy.. lolx.. a little shy la.. so we ended up smiling at each other.. when i went to take e train, i was totally drained.. seeing him brought up a lot of feelings.. hahah.. one of dem is a dull ache in my heart.. lolx.. but it's my loss dat i let go of dis fairytale.. dumb me..


went to e chalet.. best fren knowing me, waited for me at e carpark.. lolx.. cos i obviously will lose my way.. HAHA.. and i swear, SA chalet is not only bbq.. dere's mahjong and karaoke.. but here's e best part.. when i got dere, kris got me a bottle of white wine which is almost empty and told me to down it.. lolx!! it's only lyk half a cup la.. but yea, i did down it.. german wine is good!!


i oso had 3 cans of beer and i played mahjong.. haha.. but waking up early and having all those activites made me very tired.. so we didnt complete e game.. i played against manu la.. and funny thing is, we were holding each other's tiles twice!! haha.. den we were lyk blaming each other why nv throw out.. HAHA..


left at ard 9 45 cos manu has curfew and me is tired.. finally reached hm at 10 30 and am very very shagged.. gonna slp soon le.. waiting for my hair to dry.. lolx.. i guess dat's all ba..





i miss him very much.. when i saw his smile, my heart juz bloomed wif happiness.. it's a wonder how his smile still affects me dis way.. is dis love??

was talking to wen on msn.. we were joking abt yeti(maple) being my husband.. lolx!! and wen told me to get a guy who will KISS me rather than KILL me on sight.. hahahaha.. and i told him i dun think dere'll b dis kind of guy lorx.. lolx.. everyone knows i'm a tomboy.. who will wan to kiss tomboy sia..


wen told me dere will b dis kind of guy for me de.. and i told him i prefer hugs beta than kisses.. and he said, "think all gers prefer hug" well, personally i do prefer hugs.. or mayb cos i feel safer hugging than kissing ba.. lolx.. i've been afraid of physical contact.. and kissing seriously scares me.. haha.. but lyk wen said, "still young.. rush into relationship worse"


wen really told me alot of things which my parents wun tell me lorx.. things dat my gors all cannot ans de.. it hlped me alot cos i think i noe wat it means to b in a relationship more le.. haha.. i asked wen a lot of embarrassing qns lorx.. but he will ans all patiently.. very adult.. almost lyk my surrogate father le.. lolx..


it's e 1st time i'm seeing myself so clearly.. i need a guy.. i noe dat but i nv knew why.. now i know.. i'm dependent.. very dependent.. i trust ppl easily, too easily at times.. i need a guy to take care of me.. to make sure i stay out of trouble.. mayb sometimes, when i'm in my own world, bring me back to reality..


i had dat guy once.. but we didnt stay together.. why? mainly i'm too immature.. not seeing him as my knight in shining armor.. i had my fairytale.. but i stupidly let it go.. and i dun think i'll b able to find another lyk him.. lolx.. dumb me still love him.. dumb me who still loves him, let him go.. wat makes u think fairytales happen twice? i've juz thrown away my fairytale..


lolx.. i think in my nxt relationship, i will "handle wif care".. dere's a diff toking to wen abt relationship stuff.. he has experience.. he has e knowlegde.. HAHA.. i've learnt alot within a span of an hr.. not bad.. keke..


i dun think i'm sad.. cos i'm still young.. i have a long way to go.. so wat if i cant have another fairytale?? knowing i had it once is enuff..

SMS conversation wif best fren:

me: i'm so bored la


manu: nv play maple? or read books? or finish alr?


me: here no access to internet.. and i've finish all e books..


manu: go lib borrow la


me: lib so far..


manu: beta than doing nth rite...


me: mayb i'll psycho my dad to have internet connection here so i can play maple..


manu: haha den after holidays cancel rite? cannot tap into others?


me: dun have.. i try for 2 days le.. i feel lyk a caveman sia...


manu: lol! go take some black chalk n draw on the walls. draw stick figure ok. lol!


me: haha.. lyk dat i become caveman liao la..


manu: haha you said you were lik a caveman mah.. got to get into the mood of one. haha


me: lolx.. later my dad ask me to clean up sia..


manu: haha there! you will have sth to do! lol! or you can always darw on paper n stick on the
wall. lol!


me: haha.. dat might work.. sounds fun..


manu: haha yeah. let your creativity flow. the best is when you paste the drawings on the wall
and your dad thinks its real. lol!


me: and i get scolding for nth? lolx


manu: haha yeah... that is one bad point. but the best is seeing your dad's reaction when you tell him it's paper. lol!


me: haha.. i think both of us juz went mad...


manu: haha very mad! lol! fun right? haha i shall leave you to enjoy drawing. lol!


me: haha.. ok!

~*~


well.. if you're wondering whether i really drew pictures, i did.. here are e pictures as prove.. lolx..

my dad saw e pitures and he asked, "wat's dat?" and i replied, "i'm learning to be a caveman.." lolx!! and he was amused and asked, "for wat?" so i told him dat i'm bored.. and dis is wat he said:

"bored ar? ok come, i gif u thing to do.." =.= and i got stuck wif paper work for e rest of e day.. omg man.. it is so damn boring la... shldnt have told him i was bored..

thks ar best fren.. ur suggestion got me some paperwork.. haha.. but e drawing was fun and it did kill some time.. keke..i STAPLED the papers onto the wall ok.. i dun think my dad knows dat.. if he knew dat, i dun think he'll b amused.. HAHA

e papers are still stapled on e wall.. hahahaa.. think i'll take it down tml ba.. keke

was reading dis new quizilla story which best fren manu recommended.. and found dis uber nice qoute...



Once in awhile,
Right in the middle of an ordinary life,
Love gives us a fairytale.

~William Butler Yeats



and so i sit here thinking.. where's my fairytale??





sometimes, i really cant hlp feeling lost.. i dunno how to move forward.. but i slowly got used to dis feeling.. and i learnt how to stand alone..

today start work le!! once my dad knew dat my hols started, he asked me to come work... psh.. so i went lorx.. when i got dere, e 1st thing i did was to clean e office.. psh.. is darn dirty ok.. i feel lyk a maid.. i had to wipe, vacuum and mop e whole place.. even e bookshelves oso need to wipe but dat's ok.. i lyk books.. =D

after i've done all e cleaning, i did some simple accounts for my dad, picked up phone calls and made some calls too.. den once dere's nth to do, i started playing wif my camera.. hahaha.. so here are e pics:

here's a normal pic of me.. oh yea, i tied up my hair cos it kept getting into my eyes while i was working..

i think i have seriously gone mad.. hahahaha.. i haven been online msn, i haven been in contact wif anyone for dat matter.. kekeke.. once e holiday started, mainly from fri onwards, i've been in maple, chionging lyk dere's no tml..


yes, i have answered e call of my guild members and am doing my very best to gif dem their 1st knight in e guild.. keke... so from fri till today, i've been leveling up once everyday.. so from 45, i've jumped to lv 48.. i'm gonna lv tonite again.. i supposed dat's to ans to those who have sponsored me items, meso, charms, etc.. hahaha.. all dis support have given me e motivation to actually train really really hard..


so yea, if u dun see me online, u noe where i am.. hahaha.. much as i wan to be online, i feel e responsibility towards my guild members for all e support dey have shown me.. hee hee.. so i'm getting serious again and chionging.. msg me if u're looking for me.. i'll b up till 1am EVERY nite.. unless dere's sch or sth along dat line e nxt day, i'll b online till 1am..


call me a maple freak.. hahaha.. i dun mind.. cos i myself oso feel dat i'm a maple freak!! dat's all.. gtg chiong le... ciao~~

ytd was quite mao dun.. hahaha.. cos e day b4, carol asked whether want to go ivan's hse to play mahjong anot.. but i cannot!! cos ppl ask me out le.. =( anyways, so i didnt go for mahjong session and stayed hm..


den jem lim called me cos he pon sch.. ahahahaha.. so he come over my hse lorx.. when he came, i was playing maple ma.. so he logged in his acc and i hlped him lv up!! lolx.. den we played PS2.. i trashed him at ninja turtle.. but i lost in NBA.. >.< i sucked at NBA..


ordered mac delivery and ate and talk.. hahahhaa.. toked a lot.. den 2pm, he went to his sch to take A lvls result.. so i went back to playing maple.. lolx.. chionging liao.. cos holiday.. when he came back, he got a distinction for chinese la.. so gd sia.. den we headed off to meet jia wei le..


went to bugis cos jem wan to buy present for some girls.. yea, prural.. hahahahha.. i hlped him choose and buy de.. cos he say very paiseh.. =.= den i go see soft toys and lured them into kino!! hahahah.. i'm so gd man... after a while, we went to eat le..


went to my hse later cos jem having econs exam today so i coach him a little cos i noe ma.. hahah.. i'm a really strict teacher.. i even took away his phone cos he kept msging ppl.. =p studied all e way till 10pm and dey went hm le.. so i went to chiong maple again.. keke


i lvled up!!!!!! i love kallang "maple" wave ok!! one wave gives me 1% exp.. my god la.. dat is so fast.. hahahaha.. i guess dat's all le.. go eat breakfast le... ciao

updates from e last entry till now..


24 - 25th Feb:
nth much la.. same as thurs and fri, i studied.. POM... lolx!! is uber dumb de lorx.. for 4 days straight, i studied only one sub when i have four papers to take... it's a wonder i didnt screw all of dem up...


monday (26th Feb):
POM paper of course went smoothly for me.. hey.. i didnt study four days for nth ok.. hahaha.. so i guess i can actually maintain my C or mayb move up to a B.. *crosses my fingers*


after which, me, carol, val and manu stayed back in sch to study marketing.. as i didnt have time to write out notes, i took manu's note.. so many thks to manu cos her notes saved my life.. lolx!!


tuesday (27th Feb):
woke up in the morning to revise marketing and start my revision on F&B.. marketing paper's in e afternoon.. went pretty well ba.. i mean i can ans most of e qns and all.. hahahaha..


went hm and continued studying.. i'm having a hard time wif e sp for F&B la... pssh.. french, german and itlian... oh my god man.. i hate sp... >.< had my bro to hlp me in sp but he cant pronounce!!! so obviously i can sp it la... and it's damn funny la!!!


so best fren(manu) called me and gave me a sp test... THANK YOU!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH DEAR, FOR HELPING ME!!!! muackz muackz


wednesday (28th Feb):
F&B was e fastest and most draining test i've ever taken.. i completed e bloody paper in 30 minutes flat and as i walked out of e exam hall, i was seriously drained.. to e extent dat i didnt study for econs.. i guess i screwed both my F&B and econs.. i'll be doing a victory dance if i manage to get a f***ing PASS!!


today:
well, met hua hua, carol, val, best fren and bin at interchange.. went to bedok to take e bloody jab which left my arm pretty sore.. zzzzz... ivan was at e clinic waiting for us when we got dere.. me and best fren went in 1st.. mainly is cos i wan to get it over and done wif.. hahahaha.. i cant wait de.. i think i'll make myself so scared dat i wun even go in.. lolx..


i bought meds for my old problem and it caused quite a few misunderstandings along e way.. hahahaha.. but everything's cleared by e end of e day.. kekeke...


e guys went off to play DOTA after e jab.. so e girls went to orchard to meet dhah and kuku.. going to eat pepper lunch.. nv try b4.. while we're waiting for dhah and kuku at orchard mrt station, some ppl from e modelling agency approached us.. =.= apperently, it's a normal occurence... anyway, e 1st one went away when we said we werent interested.. but e 2nd one kept pestering us.. so we gave her our names and nos...


after dhah and kuku arrived, we headed off to pepper lunch.. carol went for her job interview.. eat hao le, we went kino and i started searching for J.D. Robb's newest book, Innocent in Death... i searched for quite some time la!! e book is not even where e info stated it would be at.. =.=


i had to ask e counter and she told me all e books were on shelf!!! and i had dat book which i got from e shelf and dere's only ONE.. i thot how come such a big big store has only one book.. so when me and best fren walked ard.. best fren found e books.. they're NOT on e shelf.. we found dem on a TABLE.. lyk wat e hell la...


anyways, since i got my book, i'm a happy girl... walked ard some more, took neoprints and i headed hm to cook and read!!! =D e book was worth e buy.. i've finished reading it and it's e 1st time i cried while reading.. dis is wat i call reading wif my heart.. my mom calls me crazy but i think it's cos i felt, rather than read e characters' feelings.. i'm so glad i bought e book!!! hail J.D. Robb!!! lolx


a rather brief update, hope u guys dun mind.. hhahaaha.. changed my blog url.. dun ask me y.. juz think dat it's time to change.. i feel dat i'm rather blessed.. blessed wif a family who loves me.. frenz who care for me and hlped me.. dere are ups and downs in life.. but i feel dat i have more ups than downs.. i have 3 best frenz.. 1st was in my pri sch... her name's vanessa.. stuck wif her for 6 yrs.. she's my playmate and e one who protects me.. =) pity we dun keep in touch le.. after she moved, we sorta lost touch... sigh...


my 2nd best fren is db.. oso my mei la.. met her in sec sch.. i'm very much of a loner in sec sch.. i guess can say dat she's e one who brought me out of my shell.. i noe i'm not some social butterfly so it muz have been hard getting to noe me.. and thru her, i met others lyk bc, zh, sk, sq, ben and van.. and slowly, i got to noe more lyk sy, zx, jk, bear, etc.. dat's e time where i became more open and things started going out of control.. thinking back, dere's so much drama i wondered how i survived.. lolx..


and now, my 3rd best fren is of coure, MANU!!! lolx.. at e start of poly life, i kept to myself.. i oso dunno how i got involved wif e kukus.. at dat time, manu and nikko, dhah and kuku were best frenz.. me, i'm juz a bystander.. ocxcasionally joining in e fun.. hahaha.. but slowly as i warmed up to dem, i suddenly found myself a best fren.. i rmb telling manu, " u so lucky.. got best fren.. i dun have best fren in poly" hahaa.. manu juz said, " i be your best fren la!" lolx.. dat's how i got my best fren and frm then, i nv turned back..


manu helped me alot.. be it studies or relationships.. i'm really grateful to have her in my life.. juz as i'm grateful to have known db and vanessa.. these are e 3 women who impacted my life so greatly dat it made me who i am today.. apart from my family, i think these 3 are e ones whom i hold most dearly to my heart.. hahaha.. very mushy rite.. but all dese are from e bottom of my heart..


i dunno wat my future holds.. all i can do is to move blindly forward and hope dat db n manu wld still remain in my life n not leave lyk vanessa did.. i oso hope dat i wld get to noe subsequent best frenz who will impact my life as my current 3 best frenz did.. hahaha.. i noe i leave out a lot of ppl.. everyone's my great fren.. but best frenz have special places in my heart.. keke.. love all of you..



i sit here wondering... am i ur one and only or ur one in many...