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i realised dat i can no longer blog abt wat i really feel.. cos being in a r/s means dat everything i say, think or feel will be scrutinised n judged.. i wan "condemned" due to wat i said in my previous post.. i'm feeling pressured.. oops.. i'm not supposed to say dat.. oh well.. i'm really "happy".. seriously.. so "happy" dat i'm hopping ard..

why do i try so hard? it's not a matter of thinking in anyone's shoes.. e problem lies in not being able to understand and accept wat e other party is thinking of.. worse is, interpreting an innocent comment into sth negative and preach e person abt it.. dat's e problem.. i feel wronged.. i feel trapped.. worse of all, i feel unhappy..

was reading a book titled Eleven Minutes by Paulo Coelho.. interesting read.. only halfway through it but found a lot of nice quotes.. hahaah.. gonna share~


Everything tells me that i am about to make the wrong decision, but making mistakes is just part of life. What does the world want of me? Does it want me to take no risks, to go back where i came from because i didnt have the courage to say "yes" to life? --> page 25

input:
personally, i feel dis is quite true.. normally, we fail to do the things we want to do cos we're afraid of taking risks, of making mistakes.. but wat's a little mistake as compared to the experience we will gain? ppl always say, "we learn from our mistakes." but if no one EVER makes a mistake, den where do we learn? wat do we learn from? wouldnt we be shrouded in e clouds of uncertainty?

if we think abt it, it really only requires us to take juz one step.. juz one step to experience wat we are to experience.. it's nv hard to say "yes".. so why are we facing so much difficulties to say "yes" to risks? where have all the courage gone?


I stood for a long time by the roller coaster, and i noticed that most people get on it in search of excitement but that once it starts, they are terrified and want the cars to stop. What do they expect? Having chosen adventure, shouldnt they be prepared to go the whole way? Or do they think that the intelligent thing to do would be to avoid the ups and downs and spend all their time on a carousel, going round and round on the spot? --> page 47

input:
isnt it true dat we constantly search for adventure but when we really get it, we would wish for it to stop? humans are really weird creatures.. we always dream of things dat are not within our grasp.. but when our dreams really come true, we would wish dat they didnt come true..

take me for example.. deep down inside, i'm scared of horror movies.. ghosts, vampires, gore.. i'm afraid of them.. but i cant help feeling a sense of excitement whenever a horror movie comes onto the screen.. but when e movie starts, i started getting scared and regrets watching it and cant wait for the movie to end.. and trust me, half the time i'm covering my eyes.. it's always e same cycle.. round and round, round and round.. the feelings nv change.. from excitement to dread then back to excitement again.. and it goes on..

i ask myself.. why do i spend $10 juz to scare myself.. different ppl have different reasons for doing the things they do.. for me, by watching these movies which scare the hell out of me, i hope it helps me to overcome my fear.. fear of the unknown.. i do loads of research on such stuff.. but hoping dat nxt time i encounter them, i'll be less afraid.. how abt u? why do u do stuff dat u noe u will regret later?


That's what the world is like: people talk as if they know everything, but if you really dare to ask a question, they dont know anything. --> page 57

input:
hahahahaha.. tell me how true is this statement.. oh my.. it is soooo true.. my personal take on this is this.. people love "face".. they want to be knowledgable.. or rather, they pretend to be knowledgable.. it strokes our egoistic nature when we know sth that others dont.. it juz simply makes us feel superior.. some will beg to differ but seriously.. why dont we ask questions? mayb becos by asking qns, we are admitting dat we are ignorant.. is being ignorant a crime? it is not but still.. face.. it's always face..


In love, no one can harm anyone else; we are each of us responsible for our own feelings and cannot blame someone else for what we feel. It hurts when i lost each of the various men i fell in love with. Now, though, i am convinced that no one loses anyone, because no one owns anyone. That is the true experience of freedom: having the most important thing in the world without owning it. --> page 90

input:
powerful words which ring true to the heart.. i always lyk to tell ppl, i am my own person and no one can dictate me in watever i do.. i hold true by dat belief.. wat i do, wat i think and wat i feel is no one's business and no one's fault.. ppl often preach to me dat love is between 2 people.. and wat one person do, he/she has to think of the other.. which sometimes, for me, is rather tiring.. cos if loving someone means being responsible for e other person, i would rather not love.. for every min and every sec, i would b worried how my actions will affect my partner and dis would, in turn, hinder me in the things i wan to do.. and dat would take away my freedom, making me a prisoner in love..

rite now, i'm not so yet bound by my responsibilities.. mayb becos our love is still young.. not yet mature.. dat's y i dun feel restricted.. by as time goes by, i hope my partner would understand dat i need my freedom and so does he.. and i hope he understands dat at times, we feel wat we feel and not wat others wan us to feel.. and i am e kind of person who places a lot of emphasis on freedom and if he doesnt understand dat side of me, i noe we will have a lot of problems in times to come..


Profound desire, true desire is the desire to be close to someone. ..... It is untouched desire in its purest state. When desire is still in this pure state, the man and the woman fall in love with life, they lived each moment reverently, consciously always ready to celebrate the next blessing. When people feel like this, they are not in a hurry, they do not precipitate events with unthinking actions. They know the inevitable will happen, that what is real always finds a way of revealing itself. When the moment comes, they do not hesitate, they do not miss an opportunity, they do not let slip a single magic moment, because they respect the importance of each second. --> page 133

input:
why rush? why not slow down and savour? let's juz say, low self-esteem and insecurities made us rush and spoil the magic moments.. dis is a practical world.. we dun live by desire.. we live by assurance.. assurance of a good life, assurance of a future..

***with reference to: Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes

hmm.. ppl might say dat my inputs are mainly negative which i agree.. mainly becos i feel dat dis world or rather society, is rather bounded by norms and rules.. so much so dat it sometimes feel contaminated.. we are "disallowed" to do certain stuff or mention certain issues..

take dis book for example, how would you react if u knew dis book revolves around a prostitute? how many of us see prostitution as a career? well, dis book, talks abt Maria, who's a prostitute, and she did it by choice.. she wasnt forced into it and believe it or not, she was able to find meaning in her "job".. many would condemn these women but do anyone stop and think.. dat these women were once young and innocent.. dey have dreams too.. dis book really delve into the mind of a prostitute.. and it really changed my mindset on prostitution..

hmm.. i rmb dere's one post where i said i wouldnt mind going ard the world practising safe sex wif various ppl.. lolx.. here's the link:

http://unspoken-dreamz.blogspot.com/2007/05/gym.html

it's ard e last few paragraphs.. i wonder wat ppl's reaction will be when dey noe i secretly aspire to be a prostitute.. lolx.. or a nicer name would be, "companion".. hmm.. i guess it really depends on how well a person noe and understand me ba.. i noe most would call me crazy.. but one person who really understands me inside out is my mom.. i told her abt dis little secret of mine and she told me dis..

"u dun necessarily find good sex overseas. you will only enjoy sex when u do it wif the rite person."

LOL basically, my mom regards my aspiration as a passing phase.. mainly cos i was curious.. but for ppl who dun understand me dat well, their 1st thot would be, she's crazy..

so.. wat's e 1st thot that came to your mind?

lalala.. updates updates.. lolx.. i'm mad, i'm lazy, i'm bonkers.. SL thinks i've gone mad which i seriously think i am.. HAHA oh well.. went to watch ALONE wif SL, carol, ivan, huahua, dhah and fion on thurs.. not bad.. it wasnt scary but as usual, i was scared.. LOL i covered my eyes for most parts of e movie.. so now i wonder.. y i spend so much money to scare myself.. =.= but i still enjoy watching horror movies.. =)

SL claims dat ALONE will be his first and last horror movie.. =.= now no one pei me watch horror movie le.. oh well.. funny thing was, throughout the whole movie, the only word he uttered was, "CB".. HAHA go figure wat it meant.. definitely NOT cute baby... =p

anyways, back to my 1st sentence, i really think i'm bonkers.. HAHA look at i did while i was in the ladies...

The Before:
And After:
see wat i mean.. HAHA everyone who saw those pics laughed.. even my mom.. she called me crazy when i showed her those pics.. SL calls me bo liao.. everywhere oso take pic.. LOL

well, when e rest saw my new phone, val grabbed my phone and was caressing it lyk dunno wat la.. hahaha.. apparently, she wans the phone too.. juz dat i got it 1st.. dhah oso wan dat phone.. oh well.. it's a nice phone.. =D when huahua took my phone, dis is wat she did:

=.= now my phone got her pic.. hahaha.. lyk dat i wun forget my lover le.. =p

and here's pretty fion:

celebrated my dad's bday on thurs too.. ate kampong chicken rice.. yummy yummy~ =D

a random pic of myself.. =p

nth much happened on fri.. juz played badminton wif carol, val, huahua and ivan.. den headed to tp to help set up the alumni lounge for today's mentoring AGM..

today was AGM.. it was a success.. great job to the main comm.. =) i took a lot of pic.. it's my job.. hehx.. i'm publication secretary.. =p anyways, guess my next step is to get an assistent.. cos i dun think i can handle along.. website, noticeboard and phototaking.. =x so yea, am choosing my assistent.. =)

here's a random pic i took while on the way to TCCC.. my fellow mentors.. from left, Getha, Kimberly and Noraishah:
well, dat's all ba.. dun think have any more updates le.. missing my dear boy now.. psh.. but he's in tp helping out BSC wif their camp.. oh well.. bye~

well.. dis entry, shall let pictures do the talking.. well.. most of the entry.. anyway, dis entry will be a long one (i think).. depends on my mood.. lolx.. so be warned~ dis will be a 5days worth of entry.. and trust me.. seeing dat i've read Harry Potter and the Deadly Hallows, i've got lots to say.. HAHA

Saturday:
went for the T3 thingy.. look at manu's blog for more info.. i'm lazy to type.. HAHA plus, it's 5 days ago so i cant really rmb much.. =x all i can say is, it's fun.. lyk really fun ... hahah..

after T3, the guys and girls separated cos val wanted to buy bra.. so e girls went shopping while e guys, if i'm not wrong, went DOTA.. well, after val bought her bra (which were hot!), we went to take neoprints!! hahaha.. here are the pics:
nice pic aye.. keke
another nice one.. oh ya.. i think hua hua really pecked val on the cheeks.. haha.. cos after dis pic, val laughed out loud.. =.=
sobs... look wat dat val did to me.. make me wear bra and sit on top of shit.. and look at dat val's hands!! so comical la! HAHA
i kinda lyk dis one.. dun ask me why.. i juz lyk it..

nice? well, immediately after taking dis pic, e staff came over and told us no taking pic in shopping malls... oooookay.... got it.. so yea.. no more pics! lolx.. not dat i cared.. den my bro went over to e toys department and i went to buy bra wif my mom.. HAHA

went to meet my bro and dad after buying bra.. my bro said sth funny to me.. here's our conversation..

bro: wat u buy? nvm, wat color u buy?

me: hot pink, green, white lorx..

bro: huh? u wearing to sch ar?

me: ya... (thinking to myself, bra dun wear den frame mehx?)

bro:i thot only can buy black?

me: eh halo.. i buy bra still muz buy black de mehx..

bro: (embarrassed) ohh... i thot u buy ur blazer liao...

HAHAHAHAHAHA so funny can.. i started laughing lyk mad la.. anyway, i did buy my blazer in e end cos i found it at basement level i think.. lolx.. so yea.. it was a fruitful trip.. keke

Monday:

nth much really.. except dat i attended AM lecture (applause) but was reading HP1 instead of listening (throws eggs).. HAHA

Tuesday:

attended accounts lec.. den went to lab to help kev wif OPERA.. did some practices myself.. haha.. block reservation is tough la.. i dun even noe whether i did it rite or not.. zzzz waited for dhah.. den huahua and val.. den fion.. haha.. supposed can go hm at 11.. but i waited until 6 plus den go hm.. LOL

Today:

looooong day.. accounts tut was ok.. AM interesting.. debate.. haaha.. den study for BESE.. did test, was 1st out again.. according to carol, leaving test venues early makes me feel lyk a winner.. HAHA..

25 July 2007 is a lucky day for me.. =) i'm not going to say much.. it's a happy day wif problems solved.. =D and i bought a new handphone~ S500i wootx wootx.. =D yup.. overall is a happy day for me~

boo! it's been so long since i updated aye? lolx i've been so lazy to update.. even my story i oso lazy to type.. =x bad qr! lazy qr! hmm.. here's a quick update..


let's see.. mon, skipped all lessons.. (oops) only went for accounts test.. guess i did pretty ok.. cos i can ans e qns.. den once again, i'm e 1st one out of the test venue.. =.= so spider of me.. oh ya.. ivan drove to TAS.. so he drove me back too~ as we left TAS quite late, i told dad to "da bao" food for me.. =x no money le.. >.<>












ugly pic of me taken by my mom.. =.=
ahh .. here's a beta one.. taken on wed.. keke act cute act cute~
wah.. dis pic of bestie is classic lorx!! can u see her legs? LOL so scary~ (screams)
here's my other "daughter" Zhu Rui.. HAHA.. got one big "daughter" called Si Rui.. cute rite~
well.. dis one.. speaks for most girls.. for me too.. dis is really wat i'm looking for in a guy.. and truth to be told, i've found him.. =)

ppl~ Harry Potter book 7's out~~ the time now is 00 17!! HAHA.. in lyk 7hrs time, HP7 is up for grabs!!! AHHHHH i cant wait!!!!!! OMG (swoons)

well.. the 1st part of my story's out.. it's a prologue.. not an actual chapter.. it's a brand new story and i hope dat i am able to complete it.. i've linked it.. so head over, take a look and comment.. it's rather amatuerish.. so pls dun mind my immature writing.. oh well.. i'll write and plan e storyline as i go along.. cant be sure whether i can complete it or not.. haha.. shall head over to quizilla for more inspiration~

hmm.. so many things have happened over dis past few days.. it's been one emotional wk.. for quite a few of us.. words were said, hearts were hurt, blood was drawn, despair set in.. wondering wat is wrong wif me.. cos i've been going ard offending ppl..

i ask myself, y i try so hard to please ppl? y i'm so afraid dat ppl will dislike me.. i feel so tired dat i wan to cry.. i'm trying so hard to please everyone but in e end, it's lyk i've offended more than pleasing.. could it be that i try too hard? but how do one gauge wat is trying too hard? i dunno.. i juz wan life to be back to normal.. but i guess i'm asking for e impossible?


感觉上有一点对不起你
不是一点而是很多点
感觉上我的世界已改变
我一时之间跟不上了

was reading a book... bestie lent it to me de.. Veronika Decides To Die by Paulo Coelho.. somehow, i felt sth when i read dis book.. i haven finished it yet cos i'm taking my time.. but juz e 1st half of the book already speaks of wat i'm feeling or rather thinking..

Two very simple reasons lay behind her decision to die ......... the first reason: everything in her life was the same and, once her youth was gone, it would be downhill all the way, with old age beginning to leave irreversible marks, the onset of illness, the departure of friends. She would gain nothing by continuing to live; indeed, the likelihood of suffering only increased. The second reason ....... Everything was wrong, and she had no way of putting things right - that gave her a sense of complete powerlessness. --> Page 6

"... Why do certain people try to go against the natural order of things, which is to fight for survival whatever happens?" "That's why I was crying," said Veronika. "When I took the pills, I wanted to kill someone I hated. I didn't know that other Veronikas existed inside me, Veronikas I could love." "What makes a person hate themselves?" "Cowardice, perhaps. Or the eternal fear of being wrong, of not doing what others expect..." --> Page 59

She was intransigent about the easy things, as if trying to prove to herself how strong and indifferent she was, when, in fact, she was just a fragile woman ...... She had overcome her minor defects, only to be defeated by matters of fundamental importance. She had managed to appear utterly independent, when she was, in fact, desperately in need of company. ...... she expended most of her energy in trying to behave in accordance with the image she had created of herself. Because of that, she has never had enough energy to be herself, a person who, like everyone else in the world, needed other people in order to be happy. --> Page 60

*** With reference to Paulo Coelho, Veronika Decides To Die ***

the above extracts, esp the 3rd, really expressed wat i'm thinking, wat i'm feeling.. it's almost as if the story was about me rather than Veronika.. but unlike Veronika, i didnt have e courage to kill myself.. not even popping pills.. cos the presense of my family, made me go on.. and i noe in some little corner of my mind, dere's someone out dere, who loves me so much, he'll go mad if i died..

do check out dis online business created by our own TP students.. the url of the biz is:

http://temp-distinctivelyus.blogspot.com/

they sell female apparels such as shoes, tops and dresses.. there's oso some accessories lyk bracelets and necklaces.. shoes and accessories are customised and can only be found in e website.. (if i rmb correctly) tops and dresses are good.. dey offer sizes from S to L~ so do go check it out aye~

i found out today dat mixing orange and watermelon juice causes you to have an upset stomach..



i needed someone to tell me "you are a failure as a gf" before i found e courage to open myself up.. for dat, i'm grateful..



how e hell do you understand opera... zzzzz

despair is wat i'm feeling.. cos i dunno how to make ppl understand.. cos i really dunno how i'm going to survive

i contemplated suicide today again...

i'm so fucking pissed off at myself.. i'm such a fucking bitch.. i hate myself so fucking much..

so much on my mind.. been thinking.. how well do ppl actually noe me? who really noe wat kind of a person i am?? heck.. i dun even noe myself sometimes.. dere's so few ppl who really noe who i am.. i cant even count dem wif my hand.. ONE hand.. so it's lyk less than 5 ppl really noe me inside out.. all i have to do is call, and dey will noe sth is wrong wif me.. dat's y i dun understand y when e person i needed most to understand me, doesnt really noe wat kind of a person i am.. it kinda hurts knowing dat.. wat made it worse was, dat person didnt noe i'm hurting.. didnt noe WHY i'm hurting.. so how do i share my problems wif someone who didnt understand? who only knows the me who's on e surface and nv bother to find out wat's really deep inside? who will say "let us talk things out" when it'll only be me speaking until i asked him/her to speak.. who nv tells me wat's in his/her mind and kept me guessing.. but even with all dese, i noe at the end of the day, it'll still be me who's at fault.. cos i let dat person down.. dat if dat person knew wat i was thinking, he/she would be damn hurt.. dat's why i'm such a bitch.. dat's why i hate myself.. i wouldnt be surprised if others noe wat i did, dey would hate me too..


i hate myself..

i hate myself..

i hate myself..

i hate myself..

I HATE MYSELF!!

i cant help but have e feeling of being cut off.. yea, dat feeling sux.. makes me wan to scream at someone.. oh well.. life sux anyway..



decided to open up my other blog.. e story one.. to show everyone how immature i once was.. HAH.. e writing is immature, e plot is immature.. personally, it's my worst piece of work.. but i juz sooooo love humiliating myself.. really.. how sick can i get?




sarcasm to e max..

hello~ waiting for lover to come my hse take mahjong.. haha.. so shall blog a lil...

ytd was a really fun day.. =D well, let me recall wat happened ytd... skipped L&R lec cos i was really tired and couldnt wake up.. went for BESE, took lots of notes.. BESE always has so many notes to copy.. zzz.. anyways, had fun during APEL.. ahhaha.. arm wrestling sia.. lolx..

after APEL, went to Chinatown wif dear cos going to some KTV to sing song.. met zh at mrt station den walked to Ten Dollar Club.. e ppl present were wen, moona (xin ru), dear, me, zh, db and van.. haha 7 ppl in total.. and hor, e KTV dere very cheap lorx.. $10 for 2pm - 7pm, free flow of drinks n a bowl of "shark fin" soup~shiok lorx.. haha


after dat, dear went off for CYA , zh and me went off early to go NP.. SPI (Society of Paranormal Investigators) outing~ so so so so so cool la!!! well, e 1st location we went to was Parsi Cemetery..


Parsi: A Parsi is a member of the close-knit Zoroastrian community based primarily in India and Pakistan. Although the Parsis of India originally emigrated from Persia, they no longer have social or familial ties to Persians, and do not share language or recent history with them. Over the centuries since the first Zoroastrians arrived in India, the Parsis have integrated themselves into Indian society while simultaneously maintaining their own distinct customs and traditions. This in turn has given the Parsi community a rather peculiar standing - they are Indians in terms of national affiliation, language and history, but not typically Indian in terms of consanguinity or cultural, behavioural and religious practices. (source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parsi )

Furthermore, the way the Parsis bury their deceased is different from other religions. According to Wisely (from SPI), as the Parsis view fire and earth as something holy, they do not bury or cremate the deceased.. instead, in their own country, the Parsis leave the dead bodies out in the open to allow vultures to feed on them..

Vultures: Vultures are scavenging birds, feeding mostly on the carcasses of dead animals. (source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vulture )

anyway, in singapore, there is only lyk approximately 200 ppl who are Parsi.. and dat's lyk a really small no.. and as dere's no vultures in singapore, or rather, vultures are not flying ard freely in singapore, the Parsi place the dead in a cement casket, and place dem on the ground, thus not burying or cremating the dead.. the Parsis are devout to their religion thus they dun smoke.. as in 100% of dem are non-smokers.. dat's wat Wisely said.. it's a pity i couldnt take any pic of the Parsi cemetery.. cos it was too dark.. =x it was really interesting though..

den went to some hill.. lolx.. i forgot e place le.. >.<>

we were told dat when SPI went to investigate, dey saw a black figure walking ard the make-shift shrine but when dey video-ed it, dere wasnt anything.. but dey were positive dey saw sth and smelt something rotting.. creepy~ anyway, dere's nth much dere la..

den went to Shell station for a little break and i bought dis sweet.. i love e red colored ones.. =) yum~ after dat, we went to Chua Chu Kang Cemetery.. now dat's fun!! =D cos we really got to walk ard e cemetery.. haha! anyways, Wisely showed us dis gravestone dat's really special.. dere's a lion on top of the headstone.. and it's juz weird.. this is e grave of Mr Hu, from Teochew.. and the grave is situated at a really big area.. so Wisely said dere's a legend saying dat actually, e grave houses the Hu family.. dat dere's actually 7 bodies underneath e grave.. legend has it dat e family died in a fire at their mansion.. and Mr Hu's name, being e eldest (dere's a possibility he's 97 when he died), was being engraved on the headstone thus representing the 7 members of the family who died.. i forgot if it's 6 or 7.. i think it's 7 though.. lolx.. here's a pic of the grave:
after dat, we went further into the cemetery.. den Wisely went off to prepare for an experiment.. so Uranium took over and told us abt some myths abt e cemetery and abt past experiences and experiments dere.. some were really creepy but really interesting.. cos it showed dat paranormal really DO exist.. and some really cant be explained by science.. how cool rite..

dey got 4 volunteers to go try to "attract" the spirits.. for those who've watched The Eye 10, dey'll noe dere's dis one scence whereby the actors were knocking the bowls wif chopsticks.. well.. we tried dat.. =D den while e 4 volunteers were doing the experiment, e rest of us went exploring cos we heard chanting.. but we could find e exact location of e source of the chanting.. some claimed dat it came from a hut some distance away but i beg to differ.. lolx.. den we went back to find e 4 vilunteers, Wisely did a closing ritual and we took some photos.. here's e pic of the experiment:

we took some pic while Wisely was doing e closing ritual.. den we boarded e bus and off we went back to Clementi mrt station.. on e ride back, e 4 volunteers shared wif us their experiences.. dey were spilt into 3 groups.. e 1st group were given candle and food.. so while dey were knocking on e bowls, dey saw e ashes opposite dem started glowing, almost lyk it's going to light up.. and dere's smoke and it's drifting towards dem..

e 2nd group consist of only one guy.. he claimed dat he heard moaning... and e last guy, from e 3rd group, did not experience anything cos he was juz hitting e bowl without any offerings.. keke.. it was fun but tiring.. sk and zh went to dis trip too.. and throughout e whole trip, dey took care of me.. =D and i trust dem to take care of me.. haha.. cos dey are my gors and will protect me.. =)

well, for today, dere's IG meeting in e morning.. den mentoring.. had a splitting headache so went off mentoring early and slept through e headache.. so i didnt pay much attention to dear today cos i was too tired.. =x sorry dear..

anyway, e pic below represents wat i wan to say to dear:

and i feel so loved dat i feel lyk singing~
我越来越爱他了， 爱到无法自拔。。
i wish to lie in his arm and slp.. to feel protected and loved.. =) and let his body temp warm me when the nite turns cold~

keke.. guess i'll stop.. been bloggin on and off since 7pm.. and it's lyk 1am in e morning now.. zzzz took me 4 hrs to blog.. HAHA go slp le.. good nitex~

我累了。。 我真的累了。。
原来伪装自己是如此的辛苦。。
我什么都不想做，什么都不想去想。。
只想好好的睡一觉。。
但为何每次闭上眼睛，就不自觉地胡思乱想。。
小时候，我渴望被人疼爱。。
现在得到了，我真的很开心。。
只是有时候真的会不自觉地胡思乱想。。
害怕一切是一场梦。。
虽然我生存在现实世界中，但原本的自己却困在梦幻里。。
想要清醒但又害怕面对现实。。
现实与梦幻只有一线之差。。
到底何时我才会有那个勇气踏出那一步。。
把梦幻化为现实，和他快乐到永远。。

想要把所有不愉快的事忘记。。
想要记得幸福快乐的日子。。
写的这首歌没有旋律。。
只想把思绪记录下来。。
直到永远。。

well.. been quite some time since i blogged.. keke.. gonna blog today cos i have a couple interesting stuff and nice pics to share.. =p well den, let's start from sat:

it's Mentoring Day~ all-games day.. i'm not one of e organisers so i have to take part too.. it's sth lyk an Amazing Race.. so we get clues, den run ard completing tasks.. haha.. i'm in group A.. and i have Jessica (mentee), Claire (mentee), Rebecca (mentee), Sara (mentor) and 2 other mentors whose names i couldnt spell.. =x

anyways, i think my group really did great.. hahha.. esp jessica and rebecca.. rebecca's a new mentee and at 1st she was really shy.. but as time went by, she started opening up and became more into the games.. haha.. i've nv seen jessica so enthu! makes me happy seeing her enjoying herself~ =) den dere's dis mascot competition.. and poor sara was chosen to be the mascot.. haha.. we had to dress him up as a superhero.. so yea.. we dressed him up as batman who grew fat.. and we won e best mascot~!!! here's e pics:

LOL i'm e one who thot of the tummy.. i stuffed a balloon under his shirt! =x HAHA
it's really nice to use and it allows me to organise my stuff.. haha.. and i can write down alot of notes too.. haha.. it's worth the money~
below are evidence of me hard at work.. was working on resorts op presentation.. and dumb me, accidently deleted e ppt... zzzz i nearly fainted sia.. had to redo.. *pouts*
but a Honey Green Tea nv fails to cheer me up! =) cos it's nice and sweet.. haha.. so i had e motivation to do e ppt..

plus plus plus!! i have 4 pairs of new socks!!! different color some more!!! =D yea i noe.. it's juz socks.. but hey, they're new~ =p

nice?? lolx i lyk it loads.. it's almost lyk e one dat i bought at Red2 except dis one's cheaper.. =x HAHA

well.. i think it's super fun to shop.. lolx.. i might not be a shopping person but when i feel e need to buy sth, i enjoy looking for wat i wan.. haha well.. guess i'll stop here den.. i wanna slp early~