Monday, September 03, 2007
it's really scary.. i have a sudden urge to cry.. LOL so diao rite.. i dun even noe why i'm thinking of that.. =.= currently, my mind's filled wif many what if's... and many perhap's.. i've been going..perhaps dis...
perhaps dat...
perhaps dis...
perhaps dat...
it gets kinda tiring and depressing.. haha.. see.. i've been thinking alot again.. *sigh* and i juz twirl round and round in dis tiny box.. thinking over and over again abt e same thing.. =.= it's lyk, my brain's not really working.. makes me wonder if db's e one who fell on e bus or me.. cos i'm e one having amnesia here.. zzzz
speaking of db.. she really did gave me a huge scare on sat.. i could say i'm beside myself wif worry.. cos nv have i seen her so scared.. yes, i've seen her cry b4.. i've seen her cried far worse than on sat.. but it's dat fear of hers dat really freaked me out.. T.T makes me feel so useless at times.. and makes me wonder wat i would do or feel if i were in her place..
see.. if i ever fell on e bus, and as badly as how she did, i would even bother to call anyone or walk away.. (i guess..) i'll simply sit dere and cry at my stupidity.. cos i always feel stupid after a fall.. not dat i'm saying db's stupid.. it's juz me.. sheash.. DO NOT misunderstand pls.. let me touch on sitting dere and crying at my stupidity.. here's my "logic":
if i ever fall in public, i would be SOOO embarrassed dat i'll start crying..
and trust me, crying makes me feel stupid.. dat's why i cry at my stupidity.. *do i make sense?*
watever.. see, i'm thinking over that incident so much, i could imagine me falling, feeling e humiliation and dat made me wanna cry.. oh boy.. i can be so dumb at times.. even i am amazed.. HAH~!
anyway, i was thinking alot abt perhap's.. haha.. i dunno wat e heck i'm toking but who cares.. *rambles rambles* oki here goes:
i wonder wat would happen if i did certain stuff differently, if i chose differently.. sometimes i'm angry wif myself cos i would accidently hurt others in my attempt to "experiment" wif my life.. life is interesting to me.. *i wonder why* i asked sk dis really dumb qns.. "why is red called red? why cant it be called blue and blue be called yellow?" LOL i have so many qns and i dun really noe where to start..
i wonder if anyone bothered abt dis kinda qns.. hmm.. anyway, i juz find it interesting how life came abt.. i was thinking alot abt dinosaurs in particular.. how did dey die? sk said it's Ice Age.. den i'm lyk, wat's Ice Age? and how did life come abt after Ice Age.. zzz even i'm confused by my own qns.. LOL
if any were to ask me, i would like to be able to turn back time.. to change some things.. but dat's not possible.. so now all i can do is wish.. today is the 3rd.. 17 more days..
i wish __________________________