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hmm.. 2 days ago, i was chatting wif zx.. lolx.. surprise surprise.. and he told me one thing that made me think alot.. cherish your frenz, cherish those you have.. i agreed.. cos frenz are the ones who made me get dis far.. i've had encouragements all my life.. wat i didnt expect was someone to tell me to change dis and dat cos he wan me to be a better person.. it made me think if i were such a bad person dat i needed someone to come and correct me when my parents didnt do dat.. and i swear, my parents are helluva good parents.. in fact, they are the best i could ever have..

i would say, i lived a fruitful live.. perhaps i did say once dat i lived for others, but now, i supposed i really wan to live for myself.. thus i'm putting studying and my future career (if i have one) as my top priority.. i have to admit, getting married wasnt part of my plan.. having kids (even though i wan to have) wasnt part of my plan too.. i wanted fun and excitement.. but becos of some reason, i settled for a simple life.. who understands wat i gave up.. i looked at all my frenz, dey have their goals and they can pursue it.. i have my goals.. but i forced myself to give up on it..

holidays are approaching.. and as many would noe, esp bestie, i'll most probably be MIA during e hols.. working at my dad's place and in maple world.. i wouldn't wan to go out.. i wouldnt wan to come in contact wif outside world.. last holiday i had, my only contact was bestie.. my best attribute is to not feel anything when i'm cut off from the rest.. cos to me, frenz dun have to meet regularly, or talk often.. as long as they're in your heart, everything's fine..

currently there's one song which spoke to my heart.. here it is..

When There Was Me and You
It's funny when you find yourself
Looking from the outside
I'm standing here but all I want
Is to be over there
Why did I let myself believe
Miracles could happen
Cause now I have to pretend
That I don't really care

I thought you were my fairytale
A dream when I'm not sleeping
A wish upon a star
That's coming true
But everybody else could tell
That I confused my feelings with the truth
When there was me and you

I swore I knew the melody
That I heard you singing
And when you smiled
You made me feel
Like I could sing along
But then you went and changed the words
Now my heart is empty
I'm only left with used-to-be's
And once upon a song

Now I know you're not a fairytale
And dreams were meant for sleeping
And wishes on a star
Just don't come true
Cause now even I can tell
That I confused my feelings with the truth
Because I liked the view
When there was me and you

I can't believe thatI could be so blind
It's like you were floating
While I was falling
And I didn't mind
Cause I liked the view
Thought you felt it too
When there was me and you


i wonder.. how would ppl feel if they noe wat i thought.. in fact, i have a secret which i cant tell.. cos up till now, i still choose to deceive myself..