Monday, July 09, 2007
so much on my mind.. been thinking.. how well do ppl actually noe me? who really noe wat kind of a person i am?? heck.. i dun even noe myself sometimes.. dere's so few ppl who really noe who i am.. i cant even count dem wif my hand.. ONE hand.. so it's lyk less than 5 ppl really noe me inside out.. all i have to do is call, and dey will noe sth is wrong wif me.. dat's y i dun understand y when e person i needed most to understand me, doesnt really noe wat kind of a person i am.. it kinda hurts knowing dat.. wat made it worse was, dat person didnt noe i'm hurting.. didnt noe WHY i'm hurting.. so how do i share my problems wif someone who didnt understand? who only knows the me who's on e surface and nv bother to find out wat's really deep inside? who will say "let us talk things out" when it'll only be me speaking until i asked him/her to speak.. who nv tells me wat's in his/her mind and kept me guessing.. but even with all dese, i noe at the end of the day, it'll still be me who's at fault.. cos i let dat person down.. dat if dat person knew wat i was thinking, he/she would be damn hurt.. dat's why i'm such a bitch.. dat's why i hate myself.. i wouldnt be surprised if others noe wat i did, dey would hate me too..
i hate myself..
i hate myself..
i hate myself..
i hate myself..
I HATE MYSELF!!