Friday, March 09, 2007
was talking to wen on msn.. we were joking abt yeti(maple) being my husband.. lolx!! and wen told me to get a guy who will KISS me rather than KILL me on sight.. hahahaha.. and i told him i dun think dere'll b dis kind of guy lorx.. lolx.. everyone knows i'm a tomboy.. who will wan to kiss tomboy sia..wen told me dere will b dis kind of guy for me de.. and i told him i prefer hugs beta than kisses.. and he said, "think all gers prefer hug" well, personally i do prefer hugs.. or mayb cos i feel safer hugging than kissing ba.. lolx.. i've been afraid of physical contact.. and kissing seriously scares me.. haha.. but lyk wen said, "still young.. rush into relationship worse"
wen really told me alot of things which my parents wun tell me lorx.. things dat my gors all cannot ans de.. it hlped me alot cos i think i noe wat it means to b in a relationship more le.. haha.. i asked wen a lot of embarrassing qns lorx.. but he will ans all patiently.. very adult.. almost lyk my surrogate father le.. lolx..
it's e 1st time i'm seeing myself so clearly.. i need a guy.. i noe dat but i nv knew why.. now i know.. i'm dependent.. very dependent.. i trust ppl easily, too easily at times.. i need a guy to take care of me.. to make sure i stay out of trouble.. mayb sometimes, when i'm in my own world, bring me back to reality..
i had dat guy once.. but we didnt stay together.. why? mainly i'm too immature.. not seeing him as my knight in shining armor.. i had my fairytale.. but i stupidly let it go.. and i dun think i'll b able to find another lyk him.. lolx.. dumb me still love him.. dumb me who still loves him, let him go.. wat makes u think fairytales happen twice? i've juz thrown away my fairytale..
lolx.. i think in my nxt relationship, i will "handle wif care".. dere's a diff toking to wen abt relationship stuff.. he has experience.. he has e knowlegde.. HAHA.. i've learnt alot within a span of an hr.. not bad.. keke..
i dun think i'm sad.. cos i'm still young.. i have a long way to go.. so wat if i cant have another fairytale?? knowing i had it once is enuff..