Friday, October 27, 2006
have u ever started a day anticipating fun and laughter but in e end, it ended in death and sadness? i've experienced dat today.. i guess my entry wld b in 2 parts.. e happy and e sad.. here goes..HAPPY:)
today, went out wif hui xin.. she's my senoir in tp whom i met in dunman.. lolx.. it's ok if u dun understand wat i'm toking abt.. only i noe.. =p anyways.. we met up at 4pm.. and we watched a movie titled DOA.. (i noe manu, u wanna watch dis together as a class.. i wanna watch again.. haha) it's a damn gd movie.. i wanna watch again cos of e action.. haha.. after e movie, me and hui xin discussed and decided to watch a 2nd movie.. haha.. yea, we're mad.. so we bought the sinking of japan.. it's a super realistic and touching movie kz.. i nearly cried.. lolx.. dat means a lot cos i DUN EVER NEVER cry wen watching a movie no matter how touching.. so u get e drift.. it's SUPER SUPER SUPER touching.. haha.. anyways, we went for dinner b4 watching e movie.. so we went to KFC cos van was working dere.. haha.. e look on van's face was priceless man!! i started grinning lyk an idiot la.. ok.. so i went dere to disturb her.. so? not happy sue me la!! haha.. but pls take into consideration dat i did buy a meal and ate dere.. lolx!! so i dun think u can sue me for being a diner.. haha.. okie.. so me and hui xin ate and talked.. den we went for e movie.. dat hui xin ar.. very blur!! she left her hp on e tray!!! so we rushed back to KFC and luckily, e cleaner kept her hp for her.. phew.. lucky nobody steal.. haha.. den we went to watch movie la.. EVERYONE!!! THE SINKING OF JAPAN IS A VERY CLASSIC MOVIE!!! GO CATCH IT!! IT'S WORTH E $10!! cos e theme song very nice, me and hui xin sat inside to read e credits, hoping to catch a glimpse of e song title.. haha.. we're lyk 2 idiots sitting dere and e cleaners were giving us weird looks.. lolx.. even e usher came to see wat we're doing cos dere's only e 2 of us in dere!!! haha.. in case you're curious, e song title's keep holding u.. touching and lovely song... haha.. i'll try to dl it.. back to wat we did.. we went to sembawang(sp?) to look at CDs.. den we found 5 disney soundtracks packed into 1 and guess wat? it's being sold at $19.90!!! dat's damn cheap la!!! of course we bought it!! =) and i bought hard candy too.. hard candy's a movie.. not dat kind of can-eat candy.. haha.. den after dat, we went hm.. and dat's e end of e happy part...
SAD:(
on my way hm, i noticed dat my family car's not parked at e usual spot.. so i got curious and called my bro.. turned out dey were not hm yet.. so, i asked him where dey were.. and my bro said, "somewhere over e rainbow" =.= so of course i got pissed off and he passed e phone over to my mom.. dat's wen i was told dat my god grandpa died dis morning.. fuck.. it's too late for me to go over now.. damn.. i knew him since i was a little girl.. i went to his hse every yr without fail during chinese new yr.. his bbq pork is e best in e world(to me la).. and he had cancer.. dat's e part i only knew dis yr.. and now, he's gone.. he's not close enough to me for me to feel devastated.. but.. i still consider him my grandpa.. i can still feel e loss.. deep inside me, i can feel e pain.. and no, i'm not crying.. lyk i said, he's not very close.. yea, i guess i'll go over for e service.. my mom told me e cremation date is nxt tue.. guess wat.. i told her i had sch.. wen i knew i could jolly well not go cos it's lectures.. but no.. i decided a no-go for e cremation.. not dat i'm unfilial or anything.. it's juz dat i've lost 2 of my grandparents already.. i've already been through cremation twice.. not once but TWICE.. i dun wan to go through it again.. cos it tears into my heart.. e 1st time, was my maternal grandma.. i was spared dat time cos my family was too big.. too many aunts and uncles.. so i didn't have to watch.. e kids were juz told to wait outside.. but it did nth to lessen our pain.. e wails of our own parents.. it tore our heart.. and even without witnessing it, we cried.. well, i wasn't spared e 2nd time.. it was my paternal grandpa.. god, i loved him.. i truly did.. and to see him being pushed into e ball of fire.. it's broke my heart.. i cried real hard.. even now, i could still rmb his last words to me.. he said, "rui, have you eaten? y still so skinny after u eat?" not one mth later, he died.. on e 14th may 2004.. i'll rmb man.. i'll nv forget.. it was my 1st A math exam on dat day.. wen my cousin told me he died, i told him not to joke abt dis things.. i only believed dat he's gone wen my mom told me.. it's juz too sudden.. it's too sudden.. i cant get over it.. i still think of him now and den.. i might joke abt him sometimes.. but not even my parents knew how deeply i love both my dead grandparents.. i still think occasionally how nice it wld be if both of dem were still alive.. i wan my grandpa and grandma back.. but i guess dat's impossible.. i think dat's y i wld rather go to sch on tue.. cos i didn't wan to experience e pain of seeing someone i knew cremated.. yea, i may be escaping but i really cant take it.. not now.. mayb in future but not now.. haiz.. wen i die, i wan to b buried, not cremated.. i wld rather b bitten by ants than to let my loved ones see me burn.. it'll only add on to e pain.. at least wen dey bury me, dey get to play dirt.. dere's an apt phrase dat describes cremation.. burn in hell.. y? cos e corpse burn, e ones watching are in hell.. dat's y.. so pls rmb.. wen i die, bury me.. dun cremate.. it'll only add on pain and pollution..
i guess dat's all ba.. for today, dat is.. damn.. i really miss my grandparents..
in my little world, you lit it up wif a simple smile.. ur smile made me feel loved.. ur kindness made me special.. i love you guys..