Monday, March 20, 2006
hmm... well, now dat i've left e grp, i've got to contend myself wif less outings.. not dat i mind.. juz need a little getting used to.. last nite, ben msg me.. i told him i left e grp le.. and he was lyk, "so fast" actually to me, it's not fast at all.. me leaving e grp has been long overdue.. i shld have left lyk dunno how long ago... e min van came back to dis grp, i shld have left le.. but i didn't.. cos i still harbor dat little hope dat mayb she wld change for e beta.. but nope.. not gonna happen... so now, i wld rather leave than to stay in e grp and gif her e opportunity to kick me out of the grp.. i still wan my dignity man... anywayz, dun wry so much, ben.. things will work out somehow..mayb ppl might have noticed dat my words r rather harsh in my previous entries and dat dey almost sound e same.. guess dat's how it is wen a person's hurt.. thots jumbled up and u dun even noe wat u're typing.. i didn't even noe i had so much hurt in me until i read wat i've typed.. but than, u cant blame me for being harsh ba.. it's lyk.. even a wounded animal wld lash out at its saviour.. cos it's been so blinded by hurt dat it simply lashed out at anything dat got near it.. e same goes to humans.. wen a person is so blinded by hurt, he/she wld wan to juz lash out at anyone or anything juz to stop hurting.. i'm no exception.. but i've been fair already.. i only lashed out at those who have hurt me.. i nv do anything to those who nv did me harm.. at least i noe who my 'enemies' r.. dat's a rather harsh term but dun expect me to soften it.. i mean, rite now, i'm still hurting.. as much as i try to forget e pain, it juz comes back to torment me, reminding me how stupid i once were.. but then, enuff of dis le.. i'm sure everyone's sick of reading how dis grp had hurt me.. i'm even sick of it myself..
sch's gonna start in approximately 1mth frm now.. yea, i counted.. 24 April.. my 1st day in poly.. quite excited abt it.. i'm alone sia.. no one i noe in e same course as me.. mel, mindy and xiao qun all oso at tp but we all in diff sch.. hj and xw oso in tp but oso diff sch.. looks lyk i'm all alone again.. i dunno abt zh and bc la but it doesn't matter.. dey wldn't come find me de.. go find van lorx.. not my prob.. hmm.. still thinking wan to go mel's hse tml anot.. go dere oso dunno do wat.. which is rather lame la.. ask me go his hse but dunno wan to do wat dere.. well, i dun think dere's anything else le.. gotta go continue my story liao.. ciao..